Acquire All 7 Crystals of Power (on eBay)
Make a bid for adventure!
GREETINGS, ADVENTURER!
Today’s quest is absolutely priceless, but don’t forget the shipping fees. We’ll break for yard sales in Table Talk, check out an incredible book on interactive fiction, and continue our descent into Psychic Applebee’s. Tally ho!
👋 A special welcome to all the new adventurers hailing from 50 Years of Text Games! I hope you enjoy having Adventure Snack in your inventory.
TODAY’S QUEST:
You are on a mission to collect all seven Crystals of Power, because that’s what heroes do: collect lost crystals. Why do enchanted rocks always get scattered across the land? That’s above your pay grade. You just find ‘em, save the world, and enjoy a lukewarm mead when it’s done.
So far, you’ve scaled Spikedeath Mountain, survived a bridge implosion, and punched a giant hand in its finger throat. And yet, you've uncovered none of the Crystals of Power. Where are they hiding? Suddenly, an alert pops up on your phone:
LOT OF 7 CRYSTALS OF POWER – ANCIENT/VINTAGE – NEW OLD STOCK – REAL MAGIC!!!
1 Bids at 44 gold
Bidding ends in 60 seconds
WHAT?! How did you miss this? When the Wizard Council gave you this quest, you immediately set an eBay alert. You get every listing for "dwarven cheese axe." There are only seconds left in the auction and you're certain the "1 bid" is from Galzor the Malevolent! You can't let the evil goat lord get his red hooves on those crystals, or the kingdom of Moredank will be plunged into 1000 years of darkness…
How much would you like to bid? (1 gold ≈ $15 USD in D&D land)
LET’S CHAT!
When your quest is complete, it’s time to debrief. Join your fellow adventurers at the virtual D&D table we call the comments section. One of the legs is wobbly, though, which is why there’s a Monster Manual shoved under there.
Discuss one (or all) of today’s topics in the comments:
⚔️ What item would you go on an epic quest to acquire?
🔮 Do you own healing crystals? If so, do they… work?!
⌨️ IF Fans: Can you recommend a text adventure short enough for a lunch break?
💸 What’s the coolest thing you bought off eBay? As a self-avowed “eBay person,” this is difficult for me, because I buy stuff regularly. The first thing that comes to mind is a piece of obscure Disneyland history. There was a brief moment when Disney was considering replacing Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln with a Muppet history parody show. A group of Lincoln-heads protested and ultimately the plan didn’t happen, but I own framed evidence of how far it got. Photo in the comments!
50 YEARS OF TEXT GAMES
One of my favorite newsletters of all-time launched a Kickstarter this month. I backed it on day one! 50 Years of Text Games: From Oregon Trail to A.I. Dungeon is soon to be the definitive book on the history, art, and cultural significance of interactive fiction. Author (and Adventure Snack player) Aaron Reed thoroughly and lovingly recounts the development of stone-cold classics like Zork and Hitchhiker's Guide to the all-but-forgotten ARG designed to promote the movie A.I.. I recommend you: Go NORTH. Find COMPUTER. Take WALLET. Make PLEDGE.
IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD…
Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee’s is a 7000+ word Adventure Snack text game main course for you to slather in honey mustard barbecue juice. You’ll utilize your gift for mind reading to peer into the thoughts of some unsavory characters on a most extraordinary Wednesday night at America’s Favorite Foodzone™. I’ve put sneak previews in the most recent quests.
This beta will be released exclusively to subscribers on July 12 to mark the 3 year anniversary of Adventure Snack! Share the newsletter with a friend to make sure they don’t miss out.
FIRST TIME HERE?
Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!
I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.
⚔️ What item would you go on an epic quest to acquire?
I would slay a million dragons to get a *truly* "smart" video editor that does everything I need, is easy to learn, and is reasonably priced (see, I'm even willing to concede on price!).
🔮 Do you own healing crystals? If so, do they… work?!
I don't, but one of my friends put some under my daughter's hospital crib before she had heart surgery. Considering she just finished preschool, I'd say they did *something*! 😄
I’d probably go on a quest to get an item that freezes time and lets me get things done. But I’d definitely end up in a Twilight Zone episode where I was addicted to doing it and I seemed like I was rapidly aging to the people around me... dead in one year. I’d assume.
Also I’ve got that disease I hate where you start idly chit chatting with people and start talking about something inane that you have little to no control over, the main two being weather or fuel prices. My version of that is talking about being busy - so I’d also gladly take a gourd that stopped that from happening too.
As for crystals... I don’t buy it. I mean I *bought* them on eBay for 100,000 gold but I don’t buy them as a functioning thing. I’d rather stick to ignoring all my ailments til they eventually kill me. This all starting to sound like a pattern.