You Are a Floating Pizza

Your new quest is hot-n-ready!

Slice to see ya, adventurers! I’ve got a strange, albeit delicious quest for you today. It’s for a good cause, which I think makes it a little sweeter than most.

A big welcome to all the new players coming from Unslush, a great newsletter with resources for writers. Also, you can hear me make fun of Universal Studios on the latest episode of Nightdrive, a very funny, very fake Florida call-in show.

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In the kitchen of a restaurant called Pizzaberg, a chef uses a pizza peel to pull you out of the oven. Rather than allow yourself to be placed into a cardboard box for delivery and consumption, you decide to levitate over to the pass through window.

You are a floating pizza. Pepperoni, onions, and extra cheese. Piping hot.

You float over to the Pizzaberg dining room. Chairs are stacked on the tables. There is only one person inside the normally crowded restaurant: a gawky pizza delivery teen. His eyes grow wide as he takes out his phone. 

“Ghost pizza!” the chef screams, as she runs out of the kitchen. “Run, Caleb! That pizza is cursed! It’s here to take revenge on us for eating its gooey brothers! Lord, forgive me for making this personal pan poltergeist...” She collapses to the floor and enters the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

The teen is blocking the front door, filming you with his phone as you float around. For the record, you are not a ghost. You are just a pizza who happens to float. It’s unusual, but it happens.

“This ghost pizza is gonna get me so many followers,” declares the teen.

What would you like to do?

• Show off your floating skills.

• Comfort the chef.

If you would like to escape the restaurant, how many toppings did you have on your last pizza?

• Two or fewer, click here.

• Three or more, click here.

BONUS: Donate any amount to the Restaurant Workers’ Community Foundation, which started a fund to help service workers hit hard by Coronavirus shutdowns, and add 2 toppings.

I’m going to try opening up comments for the first time. What did you think of today’s quest? What’s your favorite pizza topping combo? Mine is pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapeños. Savory, sweet, and spicy!