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Welp I’m afraid I’m not cut out for destroying planets. I believe I got strangled twice and made friends with someone I shouldn’t have and spilled coffee all over expensive things.

Ah well, there’s always writing.

My favorite Star Wars was for sure Empire Strikes Back since I got my first crush on Luke during the whole Yoda training montage. I’m not proud of it but there we go.

My beer with any character is a toss up between Captain Mal so I could be flustered and try to join the Firefly crew, or General Adama so he can tell me what I’m doing wrong in life.

Im seeing a trend in my type...

Also I don’t mean to brag but I might have something close to my sci-fi dream job and it’s not far from what you described?? 🤣

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There are plenty of other jobs you can pursue on the Murdersphere. Since you're interested in writing, I believe the Galactic Menace is looking for a social media copywriter. You can write posts about obeying Lord Cantankerous and how cool it is to do that.

I think Yoda (Classic) is still my favorite Star Wars character. And my first movie crush was on Jessica Rabbit and she wasn't even human, so nothing to be embarrassed about here.

I'd go with General Adama, because I would like some advice on dealing with Cylons, since I think we're heading for a Cylon takeover pretty soon.

Wow, that's a remarkable flex! I love that for you!

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“Today Lord Cantankerous recommends 15 genuflections in his general direction to survive the day. Best of luck. As a reminder, your faithful author also takes requests for eulogies and last will and testaments. Happy Tuesday, everyone, hope to see you Wednesday!”

Fantastic point re Cylons. What was I even thinking? Though that discussion perhaps warrants something stronger--whiskey perhaps?

Haha in retrospect I possibly should have softened that flex. I had just described my role in my newsletter as being a spacey DND Dungeon Master and I was high on my own cleverness which is never where one should write to others from :D

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You’ve got the job! Report to Murdersphere HR for a welcome packet and paperwork (ratting out any Loose Cannon relatives).

I think “High on My Own Cleverness” would be a fine tagline for my newsletter. 🥳

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What’s your favorite Star Wars movie? If you’ve never seen a Star Wars movie, what’s your secret? This is a tough one for me. I want to say Empire because that makes me sound like a sophisticated guy who appreciates the classics, but the truth is that the original movie is probably my favorite since that's the one I've watched the most (on Beta, VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, in theaters, and on streaming!), and it's the one I keep coming back to when I need my Star Wars fix. That said, I have a friend who had never seen Star Wars, so one night her husband and I convinced this 30-something woman to give it a try. Guess what? The original really drags. And OK, there's some stuff in there that really owes a big debt to John Ford's The Searchers, but that film, while a classic, also drags. So maybe I'm not the best one to answer this. I also really enjoyed Solo, but than afterwards, everyone told me I was wrong, and if you get enough people doing that, there's this peer pressure / Jedi mind trick thing that happens where you convince yourself that you didn't enjoy Solo.

If you could have a space beer with any sci-fi character, who would it be? I don't drink beer, so I'm going to choose three characters. First, Yoda. Duh. Second, Mr. Spock. How cool would that be? Third, Grig from the The Last Star Fighter.

What’s an important test or exam you’ve taken? Did you pass or fail? A long time ago, in a career far, far away, I took the California Bar Exam. I passed that sucker.

Bonus Challenge (+50 Points): Describe your sci-fi dream job. I'd like to be the Seymour Hersh of the Starship Troopers universe, but I probably won't last long because truth tellers don't have great career opportunities in fascist regimes. But yeah, I'd like to be in the shit with Rico and the rest of the squad.

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I feel like Empire used to be the cool kid choice, but now I think it's A New Hope. I think we all like to be reminded of the time Star Wars was a fun movie and not a whole industry / lifestyle / religion. But I can see how the pacing might feel off. A lot of classic 70s moves are kinda draggy. I liked the second half of Solo!

Yoda, Spock, and Grig at a table together? Forget the beer. I want a podcast!

DAMN RIGHT YOU PASSED THE BAR. PEW PEW PEW, YOU BLASTED IT TO SMITHIREENES!

+50 Points - Just promise me you'll watch out for space bugs.

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I can't be sure, but I think Empire was the cool kid answer because Kevin Smith has Dante arguing for Empire in Clerks. That's a pop culture deep cut, and it'll be the subject of one of the podcast episodes with Spock, Yoda, and Grig--assuming the bugs don't get us first.

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Whenever someone mentions Kevin Smith, I feel compelled to say, "Askewniverse."

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This is the way! Also, I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't seen An Evening With Kevin Smith, you should. It's just him telling stories about his career and all the weird stuff he's done, like the Superman draft and working on a project for Prince.

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I think I have. I know the story about the Superman movie. Wild shit!

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Passed my exam on the first try, then kept trying for 100% to get the certificate. Took me a while to notice the hint for getting the rebel ending, clever.

Can I cheat and give the original 2d Clone Wars cartoons released between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith as my answer? That's what I mainly remember as my Star Wars entry point, I watched them all as a batch and didn't even realize they were separate episode. Also various Star Wars video games like Battlefront II, the classic one that didn't nearly bring government regulation into the gaming industry.

I think Revenge of the Sith is my favorite proper movie Star Wars at the moment, like the tragedy, but I should rewatch the OT and PT as a whole sometime. Also I don't like the sequel trilogy, but I would say that as time goes on I like The Force Awakens less and The Last Jedi more.

Since I don't like earth beer I think I'm probably not going to want space beer. Even picking a character to hang out with is a little hard. More of a fantasy fan when it comes down to it so my answer would probably be Luke Skywalker. General Grievous is my favorite Star Wars character but not sure I'd want to actually be anywhere near him, while Falco from Star Fox is a bit too rude for me to want to hang out with.

Important test? Not thinking of any in particular, so I'll say getting my driver's license. Currently in a place where I have to drive to get anywhere.

Sci-fi dream job: Probably writer for some sort of fancy new storytelling medium, or just writing on the space internet with cool space substack features. Wait I take that back, the demand for 2d images are annoying enough with online writing, I don't want everyone demanding 3d holographic models with their prose.

You know what, I'm going to count Pokemon as SF and say Pokemon Researcher. Pokemon may lean more towards fantasy, but the pokeball is technology and sits at the core of the series, plus there's other bits of highly advanced tech. They can revive fossils with technology. As a researcher I don't have to battle and can dig more into the Pokedex entries.

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Congrats on cracking the code! The Loose Cannons are forever in your debt. (Though they're admittedly a bit flaky.)

I was wondering if I should've expanded my question to all Star Wars media. As a Genndy Tartakovsky fan, I commend your choice. I never played Battlefront, but I did try and fail to get Star Wars Rebel Assault to play smoothly on my Performa Mac in the 90s. Revenge of the Sith is my favorite of the PT. Rise of Skywalker left a bad taste in my mouth for sure.

Luke's a good choice for a drinking buddy, especially if you're into the T-16. He'll talk all night about bullseye-ing womp rats. Plus he won't shoot you first, unlike some heroes.

Good job on getting your license! I was reluctant to start driving, but now that I live in LA, I'm in the same boat and glad I have it.

Pokemon Researcher is a great choice. There are so many different Pokemon types with vastly different biologies, I'm sure they'd be fascinating to study. Plus, you could always start a newsletter about it, combining the passions.

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If it weren't for fanfic being a legal grey area I'd totally include fanfic on my newsletter that'd inevitably include Pokemon.

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You can always rub the serial numbers off. "I choose you, Burnizard!"

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