Escape the Maze of the MANotaur
This deadly man cave is no myth.
O kind-hearted adventurer, I welcome thee!
After decades of waiting, we’re finally able to watch The Muppet Show in its entirety. That’s very exciting! Even if conservative media is trying to ruin it by creating a false narrative about “cancel culture,” and even though I can’t leave the apartment 99% of the time, at least I’ve finally got all my precious Mupps to watch. The pigs and the rats are my friends now. They’re friends, I say!
Suddenly, you awaken to the clanking sound of your cell door opening. You’re an Athenian prisoner of war, captured by your Spartan enemies, so yeah. You’ve had better days. A Spartan soldier appears in front of you, ordering you to follow him.
“So, am I to be freed?” you ask, naively.
Spartan laughter – obnoxiously hearty – fills the small chamber, then he angrily points his spear at your forehead, right between your eyes. He forces you through a few torchlit stone hallways, until you reach a wooden door with the latin word…
“Step up to the door,” the Spartan soldier orders. “If you escape this maze, you will be free. However, no one has ever escaped, because inside lurks the deadly… MANotaur. It has the arms, legs, and body of a bull, with the head of an angry man. A man with a persecution complex. Also, big horns. Anyway, good luck, asshole!”
Slowly, you turn the doorknob and open the door. Once you step through it, you could become MANotaur food. Assuming MANotaurs eat humans. You literally have no idea.
What would you like to do?
You have 3 Stamina points. If you lose all your Stamina points, you won’t have the energy to complete the maze.
To beg the Spartan soldier for a hint, click here. It will cost you 1 Stamina point.
BONUS: To get the same hint without losing a Stamina point, like or retweet the Twitter version of the game. And thanks for helping us find new players!
FREE HINTS: It will help to keep track of your path with a paper and pencil. Also, there was a hint in the text above. Did you catch it?
I MADE A CONSOLE GAME
Last week, my first console game as narrative director finally released after two years of writing! The game is called Fallen Legion Revenants, available now for Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 4.
Fallen Legion Revenants (FLR) is an action RPG where you control two very different characters in a miasmic fantasy world. Rowena is an ass-kicking ghost who controls an army of living weapons. Lucien is a sly politician who’ll say anything to accumulate power. They don’t like each other, but they need to work together to overthrow an evil tyrant, rescue Rowena’s son, and save what remains of humanity.
If it weren’t for FLR, there might not be an Adventure Snack. There’s humor in FLR, but also a lot of heavy themes, struggling characters, and tough narrative choices. To give myself an outlet for my goofier game writing, I started this very newsletter. So those of you who’d like a longer, more serious Adventure Snack, you can try the FLR demo free on the eShop and PlayStation Store. Any progress you make in the demo transfers to the full 20+ hour game.
If you decide to play FLR, let me know what you think! Dethroning the insidious Ivor is no easy task, but I know you have what it takes. I believe it you, warrior.
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Geoffrey Golden is a narrative designer for video games. He’s written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow him @geoffreygolden on Twitter.