Giant Robot Spring Break!

Get in the funky robot!

GREETINGS, ADVENTURER!

Today’s quest will send you on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, so keep those blaster shields engaged. There’s more R&R to be had at TT (Table Talk) with your fellow adventurers, including one with an NN (Neat Newsletter). Tally ho!

TODAY’S QUEST:

You hop inside the head of KOZOR, the giant battlemech on a sacred mission to protect the Earth from alien wet blankets. You know the type. They'd rather float around the city destroying skyscrapers with their tentacles and laser eyeball than grab a ramen bowl with close friends. But since there's been a lull in the “lamelien” department, you and your fellow teen KOZOR pilots decide to get a little R&R...

"So, where should we go on spring break?" you ask from the head.

Gary, who pilots the left leg, wants to go inside Mt. Fuji to field test KOZOR’s lava-proof paint. Jade, in the right shoulder, wants to dance and get space-faced with the the moon dudes (the dudes on the moon). Maya, in the left pinky toe, argues they need new break room mugs, and suggests they go antiquing in Old Timey Town. Don, leader of the groin and buttocks sub-team, wants to see the World's Biggest Grenade Launcher in Michigan.

After a few minutes of heated arguing, KOZOR starts punching and kicking itself. To save your robot from self-destruction, you suggest all 26 pilots vote. Whichever destination gets the most votes wins. The pilots reluctantly agree...

Step 1: Vote for where you want the KOZOR squad to go on Spring Break.

Step 2: Click "See previous responses" after you vote.

Step 3: Click on the option below that got the most votes:

• Lava Diving Inside Mt. Fuji

• Parting on the Dark Side of the Moon

• Antiquing in Old Timey Town

• Admiring the World's Largest Grenade Launcher

Tip: The results may change throughout the day, so come back and play again. You may also try to persuade your fellow adventurers in the comments.

LET’S CHAT!

When your quest is complete, it’s time to debrief. Join your fellow adventurers at the virtual D&D table we call the comments section. We only have two and a half chairs, so y’all are gonna have to share.

Discuss one (or all) of today’s topics:

🌴 Is the most popular robot spring break destination the one you wanted?

🤖 Who’s your favorite fictional robot?

✅ What's your dream vacation? I’d like to visit the nerdiest corners of Japan. We’re talking Akihabara shopping trip, cosplay cafe, joshi wrestling show, and theme parks galore. They already have a Super Nintendo World, you guys!!!

Share your thoughts in the comments (or email a reply if you’re shy).

READING RECOMMENDATION

I love prose humor. I’m so passionate about it, I co-founded an indie press called The Devastator, which was dedicated to publishing print humor books. We ran it for eight years, which was longer than most people thought we would last. (The average guess was 4.2 weeks.) So when I read funny prose, I want folks to know about it.

Folks, I want you to know about Michael Estrin’s newsletter Situation Normal. Michael takes real-life anecdotes from his life and heightens them with detours into fantasy. Remember that show Andy Richter Controls the Universe? No? Nobody does? Well, it was a good show and it’s a lot like that. Whether it’s the absurd nightmare of a flight on Southwest, the unfortunate smells of a yoga class, or meeting a “one-man Nazi-punching machine,” Michael’s slice-of-life stories are funny and memorable. Situation Normal is a perfect lazy Sunday afternoon read. Check it out!

FIRST TIME HERE?

Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.