Adventure Snack

Share this post

Godzilla vs. Kong vs. YOU!

adventuresnack.substack.com

Godzilla vs. Kong vs. YOU!

Go toe-to-toe with the big boy monsters.

Geoffrey Golden
Mar 12, 2021
2
Share this post

Godzilla vs. Kong vs. YOU!

adventuresnack.substack.com

GO! GO! ADVENTURER

A quick announcement before we get to the dueling kaiju.

Do you love weird 80s movies, tabletop roleplaying games, and… ME? If you answered “yes” to any/all/none of those, listen to Worst Movies Ever Played, a new podcast I’m co-hosting on Starburns Audio! Each week, my friends Brent, Patrick and I improvise a midnight movie with some dice, paper & pencils, and a Hollywood sound designer. In our first movie, “Suburban Sorcery: Mufflers and Magic,” I play a poor man’s Rodney Dangerfield who’s attacked by Satanic teens!

Twitter avatar for @WorstMoviesPod
Worst Movies Ever Played @WorstMoviesPod
Worst Movies Ever Played is a brand new #actualplay podcast where we create bizarre, cheesy 80s VHS movies on-the-fly using a roleplaying game! Now playing at a podcast app near you: megaphone.link/STA1948381003
Image
7:50 PM ∙ Mar 2, 2021
11Likes6Retweets

You are a giant monster trying to take a nap in the middle of Times Square. It was hard to get comfortable at first, but once you knocked over M&M World for leg room, you found that Hamilton: The Store made for a decent pillow. 

Someone keeps shooting sharp pellets at your ears. It’s tiny humans. You flick them off into the LCD screens. The way they get electrocuted is pretty funny. Back to sleep. Then the humans return with tanks to fire larger pellets at you, so you grab a tank and twirl it on your finger. The other tanks turn around, intimidated by your showmanship. Alright, now for a nice nap… For real this time… Nothing’s gonna–

“RWRAAAAA!” screams Godzilla, as he vomits fire at King Kong a block away. You awaken to see the huge screeching ape throat punch the lizard. After wailing at them to keep it down several times, and throwing a double decker bus at them, you realize a decent night’s sleep depends on you shutting both their noisy monster asses up.

Part 1: Create your creature!

Use the mini-character sheet below to design your kaiju.

  • Name your monster and give them an elaborate backstory. (200 pages ought to do it.)

  • You have 10 Monster Points. Spread those points however you like between Strength and Stamina below (for example, Strength: 4, Stamina: 6), but you must have at least 1 point in each.

    • Hint: Put at least 3 Monster Points in Stamina. You’re gonna need it.

    • Tip: Copy and paste the character sheet into a text doc to keep track of your stats.

  • Choose your monster type. Each one has a special ability!

——

Monster Name:

Elaborate Backstory:

Strength:

Stamina:

Monster Type: [Insectoid / Mutantoid / Bizarranoid]

  • Insectoid – Fly into the clouds during battle to catch your heinous breath. Recover +3 Stamina. Use once per battle.

  • Mutantoid – Flex your slimy misshapen muscles, pumping up your biceps. Add +2 to your attack. Use once per battle.

  • Bizarranoid – Spin around, firing rainbows and sparkles in the air. Opponent gets dazzled and loses their next attack. Use once per battle.

——

Part 2: Choose your first opponent!

  • King Kong

  • Godzilla

BONUS: Email me your character sheet as a PDF for +1 Monster Points to your Strength or Stamina. I wanna read ‘em!

MENTIONS & MINOTAURS

Here are tweets with the hashtag #AdventureSnack (or @geoffreygolden), proudly displayed on the refrigerator that is this newsletter!

Twitter avatar for @mattrouse1
Matt Rouse @mattrouse1
This is how my #AdventureSnack ended: I saved my hypothetical dog who I have named "Cheeto"...
adventuresnack.comFear – 4 or More DogsYou calmly, but firmly, address the dognapping scum over the phone.“Unfortunately for you, I have a very particular set of hobbies,” you tell them. “One of them is tracking my dog’s where
8:45 PM ∙ Feb 9, 2021

He who saves the dog, names the dog. Those are the rules.

Twitter avatar for @ErinMFeldman
Erin Feldman ☕️ @ErinMFeldman
Obviously, I'm going to take all the stamina points I can get. (Also, subscribe to Adventure Snack!)
Twitter avatar for @geoffreygolden
Geoffrey Golden @geoffreygolden
Escape the Maze of the MANotaur From https://t.co/UrFsbEdXPE [1] You’re an Athenian prisoner of war, captured by your Spartan enemies, so yeah. You’ve had better days. Will you escape your labyrinthian prison, or encounter the murderous, self-entitled MANOTAUR? Go to [2] 👇 https://t.co/SmafuPK75w
7:44 PM ∙ Feb 26, 2021

I wish I could buy stamina points at the grocery store. That, along with a handful of dexterity, maybe a bag of charisma, and I’d be good to go.

Not a subscriber yet? Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

Geoffrey Golden is a narrative designer for video games. He’s written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow him @geoffreygolden on Twitter.

The header art was designed by catalyststuff.

Share this post

Godzilla vs. Kong vs. YOU!

adventuresnack.substack.com
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 The Devastator
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing