Riddle of the Sfynks

In an ancient pyramid lies a ferocious monster... and a neat prize!

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Today’s tale brings us to an enchanted monolith lost to the sands of time. Before you set out on this perilous journey, be sure to pack your copy of The Big Book of Riddle Answers by Malcolm Gladwell.

You are a thrill-seeking archeologist traversing the desert sand. It’s a brutally hot day, but you’re not thirsty for water. Oh no, you’re thirsty for… ancient treasure. Okay, you are also thirsty for water. Your canteen only contains droplets of luke warm backwash. The thought of a La Croix makes your tongue scream.

Finally, you arrive at your mysterious destination. Who knows what you’ll find inside the Pyramid of One Monster? The triangular stone structure has a small, dark entryway. You turn on your flashlight and walk a few feet inside.

Inside the pitch black room, you shine your flashlight over various objects: a mural depicting outsiders being gored by a monster, a pile of skulls with monster claw marks on them, the glowing red eyes of a monster staring deep into your soul, some vines, a pair of flamingo sunglasses–

A heavy slab falls, closing up the exit behind you! In the middle of the room, a big torch lights up and reveals a beast with the head of a cougar, the belly of a hippopotamus, the claws of a sloth, covered by the cleats of NFL legend Jerry Rice, and a lizard’s tail with a spiked mace at the end. If this creature killed you, at least you would die in a memorable way.

“I am the One Monster in the Pyramid of One Monster,” says the one monster in a soothing baritone. “You may call me the Sfynks. S-F-Y-N-K-S. Not S-P-H-I-N-X, even though it’s pronounced exactly the same way. I saw into your soul with my Eyes of Penetration. You seek my treasure?”

You nod emphatically and wince a little, as if to say, “Yeah, dude. C’mon.” Once you do, three stone pillars rise up from the ground in front of you, each with a different symbol on it.

“Answer my riddle by pressing one of the three pillars, each emblazoned with a symbol. Listen carefully and choose wisely. Once you press the pillar, your fate is sealed. Here is my riddle…”

I am not part food
I cannot be eaten
I am not part coin
Small change is for cretins
I am part what surrounds us
Your fortunes I will sweeten

Which pillar will you choose? (Click the symbol.)

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A bonus for you, if those rhymes made you squint...
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