Save the Mall from Gremlin Invaders
When it comes to practical jokes, they're dead serious.
|Geoffrey Golden||Oct 13, 2020||5|
Ready for a creature feature, adventurers? Today’s game will pit you against a hoard of sadistic little critters in an explosive prank war. To prepare, you’ll want rubber gloves, a football helmet, a blowtorch, a hand-buzzer, and a free subscription to Adventure Snack, so you get the “new batch” of games in your inbox.
You are the manager of the local Poopie’s Pranks, a nationally-tolerated novelty store found in mostly-abandoned malls. Poopie’s specializes in such delights as 50th birthday cards that briefly electrocute the opener, edible panties that taste like rotten sauerkraut, and plastic hedge stones with phrases like, “Here Lies a Total Dumb-Ass” that fart when you pass by them.
It’s a snowy night and the mall is quiet. After cleaning a silly string explosion in the “Guffaws” aisle, you get ready to lock up. That’s when you hear a wet pitter-patter on the linoleum outside the store. Is this another bathroom sewage leak? No, because the splishes are accompanied by churlish laughter. You walk outside the store and look around. Nothing but fluorescent lit benches, a trash can, and your neighboring store across the aisle, Bandanarama.
Behind you, there are several loud crashes! You turn around. The glass door of Poopie’s is shattered. Inside, your store is besieged by Grossblins, those slimy, knee-high, comically murderous little demons! You’ve seen them wreak havoc on the news. One time they pretended to be news anchors and they had little suits and ties. Monstrous! There are well-publicized rules about how to propagate and defeat them, but since you’re panicked, you can’t remember any of them.
There are 20 Grossblins tearing up Poopie’s Pranks! They’re stretching out the Blunder Bras, ripping down the black light alien Rastafari posters, spraying out bottles of Astronaut Cheez at each other, and stealing all the money from the cash register. Damn it, you need that money!
What would you like to do?
If you would like to prank the Grossblins away, text someone you know with an iPhone a GIF of “typing dots” and nothing else until they reply.
BONUS: Click the small heart button near the top of the email. When you do, there’s no need to send a prank GIF. Just flip a coin: heads is “fooled,” tails is “amused.” Thanks for helping Adventure Snack grow!
Game Jams & Podcasts
To my surprise, I’m doing a lot of stuff right now. I would prefer to stay in bed, eat pizza, and stalk the eBay listing for the Wayne’s World VHS board game. Instead I’m participating in game jams and going on podcasts. It’s fun, but in an effort sort of way.
My partner Amanda and I are hosting a new podcast for Neon Hum and Sony starting this Thursday called Dirt Cheap. We’re reading a bizarre 1940s mystery novel called Murder in the Glass Room, and making fun of it as we go. Check out the trailer and subscribe!
I was a guest on Burn After Pitching with a hilarious comedian, Lesley Tsina. It’s a comedy podcast where we pitched crazy ideas for Halloween TV specials, reality game shows, and a Gremlins candy bar.
I was also a guest on Digital Marketing Masters, where I derailed a conversation about writing for social media to talk about solo RPG series like Car Wars and what it’s like to write for video games.
Plus, I submitted a neat generator to the TTRPG Resource Jam on Itch. The Character Motivator is designed to give purpose and direction to characters in your favorite fantasy roleplaying game with the roll of a D6.