Wrestle a Bear for the Championship

Get your claws out for in-ring action!

ARE YOU READY TO ADVENTUUUUUUURE?

I’m a big fan of AEW, which is a TV wrestling show founded by indie wrestling talent. My relationship with wrestling is strange. Unlike a lot of fans, I started watching as an adult almost 15 years ago, so I have no memories of being told to ‘eat my vitamins’ or to ‘suck it.’ What I love most about wrestling is how unabashedly strange it can be. Did I mention AEW’s roster includes a dentist, a zombie, an alien, and a dinosaur man?

Are you a wrestling fan, former or present? Hit reply. I’d love to know who else digs wrestling in our party.


You are an up-and-coming pro wrestler on the indie circuit. Across from you in the ring is a grizzly bear. “Big Honker” is the reigning UBW* champion with a gold foil belt around his enormous waist! He’s 450 lbs and doesn't look friendly. The greasy-faced promoter has booked the match for you to go over and become the new UBW champion. When you get Big Honker in a headlock, he's trained to fall asleep, and you’ll win your first belt!

You look around. You're performing next to a dilapidated shack in the woods. None of the 12 people in attendance are wearing shoes or shirts. Has this bear been properly trained? Is the promoter trustworthy? Could you have gotten more than $50 for the match? All questions you should have asked before the bell rang, which it just did.

What would you like to do?

If you'd like to wrestle Big Honker, recall the number of times in your life you've been in a physical fight with someone who isn't a friend or family member.

* Unregulated Backwoods Wrestling

Big shout-out to Adventure Snack player Mario V., who volunteered to redesign the ending pages so they’re easier to read on mobile devices. Thanks, Mario!


MAGIC & MAYONNAISE

For the first time ever, Adventure Snack’s in print! I contributed an all-new Adventure Snack game to Tiny Wizards, an indie comic series created by Eben Burgoon (B-Squad). The successfully kickstarted comic is hilarious and bizarre. It tells the story of bite-size wizards from another dimension who battle each other to the death in a fast food pitstop off the highway. My Adventure Snack puts you in the position of a sandwich shop employee encountering a mischievous mage. Get Tiny Wizards #1 direct from Eben’s shop in print or digital editions.


FIRST TIME HERE?

Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

I’m a narrative designer for video games. Past writing clients include Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.