Make your stock price go wild on a whim!
Congratulations, Geoffrey! That is amazing and so well-deserved!
My first teaching job out of college was at a residential school for students with significant needs (I won’t get into the specifics). Many of them were violent - knock you out, bite you, break your nose kind of violent - and the staff had to be trained in takedowns, supines, and all kinds of crazy restraints. I have so many memories from that place...both good and bad. I loved the students (I will never forget any of their names), and the people I worked with were incredible. We became pretty tight-knit.
The turnover at the place was insane. Some people quit within their first hour or two of working on the job! Needless to say, after a year and change I left. 😅
Wow, I AM a business genius! Who knew?
My first job was reshelving books at the library. I learned the Dewey Decimal System (more or less). The job I was probably happiest to leave was the one after that--stocking shelves at the grocery store. So similar, yet so different...
First, thanks for pointing folks to my post, Geoffrey! I can assure everyone that despite the dire warnings, the blender, raw fish, Jansport backpack trick totally works and it will NOT rip a hole in the space time continuum. That said, it will create bit of mess, so it's probably best to perform this growth hack at an AirBnB; you'll eat the cleaning fees, but you'll reap massive subscriber growth!
OK, on to the game & the questions!
I ended up getting fired, but I got a sweet golden parachute, so I think I won, even if I lost.
As for my first job, I worked for my dad as a PA / shop grunt. Mostly, I ran errands, coiled audio cable, and swept the floor. Because my boss was my dad, California labor laws didn't really apply. So I started this gig around age six and I the last time I worked for him I was in my early 20s. My first job-job was as a student librarian in college. I loved it! Lots of free time to read.
Brands I love? I used to love Borders Books and Walden Books. I love bookstores, so that love extends to Barnes & Noble, but not to the Amazon bookstores. I loved the Arclight movie theaters. They were great. I used to love Ben & Jerry's back when it was actually run by Ben & Jerry. These days, I love McConnell's ice cream. Back when I played a lot more video games, I guess you could say that I loved the Sid Meier brand. I loved Civilization a lot, and I consider my culture victories to be among my highest gaming achievements.
Job I was glad to quit? I'll see your job and raise you a career. For a time, I was a lawyer. I hated it. I worked for OK people, for the most part, but I hated being a lawyer. I was really glad to quit that life.
Usually I don't go for the jerk responses on my first run through, but it felt fitting for this story. How can I resist the classic 'your face is' comeback? So what if I got fired, starting a meeting late and opening it with "a warning to all who listen" is peak sigma hustlegrind something something. Liked how the stock changed with each answer, though I'm concerned that chipping my employees got it to go up.
My first job was bagging groceries at a supermarket. I guess I learned that work can feel like school when it's slow. And that even a part time minimum wage job requires connections to get these days, I spent like months following up on the application and things just happened to finally progress when a friend of a friend brought it up.
Nintendo is also my answer to the favorite brand question, though they've done a lot of stuff I'm critical of so it's not blind fanboyism. I'm heading to the new theme park early next month actually. I was hoping to go to the one in Tokyo since it opened but with certain events there hasn't been a good opening for international travel. Maybe by the time you go they'll finally add pizza to Toad's cafe.
People compare school to having a job, so I'll say that I was happy to leave school and go to jobs with clearly defined hours that don't bleed into and attempt to control your entire life.
Oh boy, personal brands, that thing. "William Fisher Edwards is an author of prose fiction and video games with a substack basically nobody reads who spends too much time writing design docs for games they can't make yet and is also obsessed with an Aztec god that people just won't stop demonizing."
Geoffrey, congratulations on the awards!! Well-earned and well-deserved! 👏👏👏
👩💼 My first job was at the computer lab in college. I basically sat around surfing the internet throughout my shift, and answered the occasional question from my less tech-savvy peers. Still the best job I've ever had!
💝 Nintendo, absolutely! Also, Shake Shack (mmmmm...), for its good food AND business practices.
🔥 Yes, I worked for a PR agency that was less a business and more the founder's personal fiefdom. It was terrible. I got written up for missing work to visit my stepfather on his deathbed, just to give you an idea. I was so relieved when I finally told them to f*$# off (albeit in more diplomatic terms)
✍️ "Jay Rooney plays video games and then writes about them, and will totally steamroll you at trivia night."
ANOTHER fun game. The stock price held, despite my antics!
My first job was...a glorified receptionist. I had to make up what I needed to do. I often checked the mail multiple times in one hour. I mostly learned that jobs for young people are boring.
I'm a sucker for EVs right now. I genuinely love the Rivian electric truck. Like if I wasn't married or had pressing responsibilities I'd probably spend my whole salary on it and live out of it.
I was so happy to leave my last job. It was as a creative copywriter for podcasts and youtube scripts... my boss was horrible and I found advertising to be completely empty of purpose!
My brand is: a very specific brand of absurdist comedy.
Well, I'm not sure if I should feel ashamed or proud of being a business genius, but here we are.
My first job was as a bagger at Meijer. I mostly learned that the phrase, "Get the mop and follow me," never ever ever ever ever ends well. Ever.
Brands I love? I'm pretty brand agnostic, but if I want to go way back, I loooooved the PC games made by Sierra Games. I'm now totally one of those people who laments the loss of a good point and click adventure with terrible puns.
My personal brand...hmmm... "Trin appears to be an endlessly patient technology trainer through copious use of the mute button, and has perfected the art of looking engaged in virtual meetings while actually browsing board gaming forums."
This was one of my favorites (and most painful, as someone in the midst of the current tech layoff abattoir environment). My personal brand is pretty: "Kate is a former librarian turned knowledge worker and is probably eating a sandwich right now."
Congrats on the IFDB wins! Amazing!
💝 Are there any brands you genuinely love?
I love Disney and its amalgamation of IPs hybridized with its theme parks. And I'm also partial to Nintendo (although I would love a new tentpole first-party franchise).
✍️ Bonus Challenge (+50 Points): Describe your personal brand in one sentence, but be honest.
Jon Auerbach writes epic urban fantasy, which is totally a thing, and is the process of creating his own interconnected cross-media story universe that will hopefully one day be its own section on the Disney+ app.
Congratulations on winning two(!) IFDB awards! 👏👏🥳
I absolutely crushed it so hard as a CEO I'm investing in myself by buying a $20,000 suit. It'll surely pay for itself when everyone sees me wear it at the 'Soup for Clumsy People' convention.
Longtime snacker, first time debriefer here:
Thank you for the kind AMBUSH TACTICS shoutout, Geoffrey! From one business genius to another, I appreciate your generous support and encouragement.
Now, let's get down to business:
1. Cutting grass at local golf course. Lesson: weed-whacking bunker edges should be outlawed under the Geneva Conventions.
2. Pathfinder, the TTRPG brand from Paizo Publishing, fills my heart with joy. That's why I write about their game: great rule set, even better pre-written adventures.
3. I spent a summer in the early 2000s digitizing stacks of legal filings for the SEC. Some salacious reading (we were specifically instructed NOT to read any of the pages we were feeding into scanners, but who can resist?). Otherwise the worst job. Glad to leave.
4. "Andrew Braithwaite used to be a National Magazine Award-winning restaurant critic, but now he mainly stays home and watches cartoons with a three-year-old who's too sick to attend preschool today. Also: so much Pathfinder."
I'm finishing my cereal. Adventure!
SNCK 96.32 (-33%)
Whoa, I’ve been Substack blind for the last two months and am thrilled about the award from the IFDB! Super jazzed for you, Geoffrey.
"I love being a rich genius!" Is probably the most apt phrase in the world. I love that this story really simulates the ‘willy-nilly’-ness of being an out of touch rich guy and in turn accepting the success and denying the blame… is this art? Yes, why did you even ask.
Because I’m pretentious AF (I’m the parlance of our time) I really love Criterion. Want me all those Blu-rays. If your movie isn’t 4:3, black and white, Swedish and about questioning the very existence of god after getting a hole in your shoe… don’t even talk to me.
I’m a primary school teacher in the real world so I’ve both contemplated quitting and considered staying in my job on a day to day swing. Heck, sometimes even on the same day.
Congratulations, Geoffrey, what great accomplishments! So well deserved.
As for my first job, I was a funeral home attendant and groundskeeper... at age 13. We lived next to a funeral home, with no other neighbors around. Our family and the owner/mortician were friends for years. Me and each of my older brothers took turns at different times in our lives. I learned a lot about the human condition and closing up at night by myself was always a treat 👻👻👻