You Are a Lisa Frank Dolphin

Open a Trapper Keeper of lies.

GREETINGS, ADVENTURER!

Today’s quest will fill you with porpoise. We’ll celebrate a major milestone, talk summer break in Table Talk, my RPG podcast returns for a second season, and open your mind to more Psychic Applebee’s. Tally ho!

TODAY’S QUEST:

You are a shiny, rainbow dolphin splashing in a shockingly blue ocean. A school of rainbow fish swim past you. You playfully chase them through the neon coral, smiling as you chew and swallow them. Their pink blood floats to the surface. An hour later, your body relaxes as you excrete wave after wave of rainbow poop.

An inflatable (rainbow colored) beach ball splashes on the water's surface, above your head. You crest the ocean and see... no one. You were expecting a few friends, like other dolphins, a unicorn, or a terrifyingly doe-eyed bear in a top hat. Where did this ball come from? Better use your nifty dolphin senses to figure out what's going on.

Where would you like to aim your echolocation clicks?

• Below you, into the ocean deep.

• Above you, into the clouds.

• To your left, towards an island.

• To your right, hungry for more fish.

OVER 1000 ADVENTURERS!

Cue the Final Fantasy fanfare music. Adventure Snack now has over 1000 players! Almost three years ago, I sent the first quest to 25 adventurers. I promoted Adventure Snack at San Diego Comic-Con by passing out printed invitations to join. Now, 67 games later, I’m proud to see our scrappy band of heroes grow into a mighty four-digit army. Thank you for playing, sharing, and commenting on these quests! I’m so proud of how our game and community has evolved over the years.

The journey continues, adventurers! 🧙‍♂️ ⚔️ 🍟

LET’S CHAT!

When your quest is complete, it’s time to debrief. Join your fellow adventurers at the virtual D&D table we call the comments section. Rules on the comments section can be found on page 116, table C-6 of the Table Talk Adventurers Player’s Guide.

Discuss one (or all) of today’s topics:

🐬 What did you experience on your dolphin adventure?

🌴 If you could go anywhere for summer break, where would you go?

❓ What kind of rad school supplies did you rock back in the day? I remember having this really cool Trapper Keeper folder with zig-zagging stone cliffs and spheres floating in mid-air. The memory of the image is imprinted on me. As I was typing this, I wondered if I still had it, and sure enough, I do. See a picture in the comments section.

Share your thoughts in the comments (or email a reply if you’re shy).

WORST MOVIES EVER PLAYED

I love bad VHS movies. The kind you can find in their entirety on YouTube, because the studio can’t be bothered to send a cease and desist. (Or is long out-of-business.) So I’m thrilled that season 2 of my podcast Worst Movies Ever Played debuts next week Tuesday on Starburns Audio. I improvise bad 80s movies with my comedian friends Patrick and Brent, using a TTRPG called Straight to VHS. This season, I play an ex-boxer, a sexy robot, and a computer hacker with a fax machine in his brain! And the first movie is all about a dolphin, so if you want more dolphin gags, click-click-click the button below.

MORE PSYCHIC APPLEBEE’S!

Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee’s is an Adventure Snack entree that’s been injected with jack cheese and comes with a side of steak poppers! I finished porting the game from the engine (Ink) to a secret website. Now I’m making tweaks and edits. I’ll be releasing an exclusive beta to subscribers on July 12 to mark the 3 year anniversary of Adventure Snack! Share the newsletter with a friend to make sure they don’t miss out.

FIRST TIME HERE?

Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.