Adventure Snack

Share this post
Your Phone Starts Working Post-Apocalypse
adventuresnack.substack.com

Your Phone Starts Working Post-Apocalypse

Swipe right just to survive.

Geoffrey Golden
Nov 23, 2021
Comment12
Share

THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT, ADVENTURER!

Today’s quest is all about cell phones, which gave rise to one of my favorite film tropes. Because what are the two most dreaded words in any movie? “No bars.” No calling for help. No texting a friend. No Domino’s Pizza Tracker! The cell phone signal coverage map of the United States in horror movies would be, like, six dots at most. Petition to put up a cell tower at Camp Crystal Lake!

📱 Which is better: iPhone or Android? Reply to this email and let me know what you think! I’ve used Apple products all my life, including this beige bad boy.

It’s been three years since the catastrophic event you call “The Great Uh-Oh.” In that time, you’ve been urban exploring in abandoned cities like this one. You walk down the empty streets, jotting down notes on your phone like, “I guess a JC Penney would look spooky after being abandoned for three years” and “Wow, those raccoons won’t let me anywhere near their grocery store dumpster!”

Your phone bings. It hasn’t done that in years. You look at the screen, astonished. There's a system update available. The internet is back?! You jump for joy, pumping your iPhone-clenching fist in the air! But after you land, you notice your phone dropped a bar. In a panic, you rush back to the exact spot you were in, but the lost bar remains lost. Unfair!

This internet connection could die at any moment. Will it last through an entire system update? But what if the system update is the key to reconnecting with human civilization? This could be the most significant thing you do in your entire life. No pressure.

What would you like to do?

  • Text your mom.

  • Play your favorite mobile game.

To install the system update, look at your phone. What is your cell phone’s current signal strength?

  • 1 Bar or Less

  • 2-3 Bars

  • 4 Bars or More

MENTIONS & MINOTAURS

It’s been awhile since we opened up the ol’ Twitter mailbag. Let’s make up for lost time! Tweet with the #AdventureSnack hashtag and you may enter into these hallowed halls.

Twitter avatar for @AverageMonkeyMax Cage @AverageMonkey
Subscribe to #AdventureSnack, trust me!

Geoffrey Golden @geoffreygolden

To win a copy of my #dnd5e module Target Run, sign up for my newsletter #AdventureSnack before 11:59 am PST tonight. Two lucky subscribers, chosen at random, will get the adventure for free! https://t.co/438aeiIthA

November 12th 2021

2 Likes

Trust Max Cage! For one, “Max Cage” is a total badass wrestler name.

Twitter avatar for @mattrouse1Matt Rouse @mattrouse1
Take that Lord Pimpledump! This is how my #AdventureSnack ended:
You Win with a Classic Arrow GagYou let go of the arrow. It soars through the air, blazing towards the target – and splits Lord Pimpledump’s arrow in two!The crowd cheers and you bow to your adoring public. Since you both lanadventuresnack.com

October 10th 2021

1 Like

Great job, Matt! Rub your victory in Pimpledump’s gross face.

Twitter avatar for @JosWallerJos Waller @JosWaller
This is how my #AdventureSnack ended:
adventuresnack.com/?p=990 Purple Stripe ha (I would've taken a blue one too)🦋Good to find a friend even in spppaaaaacccceee, music jokes rule🐳The Alien Gave You a Rad LookYou go back inside your house and look in the hallway mirror. A bright purple stripe is running across your skull! Up close, you can see it’s a tiny flat tube with ooze pulsating through it.Youradventuresnack.com

October 9th 2021

1 Like

Thanks for playing, Jos! [Randy Newman voice] 🎶 You’ve got a friend in space…

FIRST TIME HERE?

Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.

Comment12
ShareShare

Create your profile

0 subscriptions will be displayed on your profile (edit)

Skip for now

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.

Jackie Dana
Writes Unseen St. Louis ·Nov 24, 2021Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I'm seriously dating myself but my first computer—the first one I ever used—was an Apple IIe. Since that time I've owned many Macs starting with my SE, and up through my iMac now. And after a few dumb phones, I got an iPhone 3G and never considered anything else.

Expand full comment
Reply
4 replies by Geoffrey Golden and others
Alicia
Writes Dystopian Worlds ·Dec 21, 2021Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Fun story but I don't think I'd waste time charging a phone that hasn't worked in 3 years because the towers are down. But then again, apocalyptic movies always have someone trying desperately to communicate with the outside world using some kind of technology.

Expand full comment
Reply
2 replies by Geoffrey Golden and others
10 more comments…
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2022 The Devastator
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Publish on Substack Get the app
Substack is the home for great writing