Living in the PNW, my first instinct was to grab the bear spray. Plumbing successfully fixed on the first try!
Worst place I’ve lived was an apartment in upstate NY infested by huge centipedes that the landlord refused to take care of. There were also bees every summer in the wall ac which was broken, again never fixed. Fun times for the newly independent.
Congrats on your successful and well-reasoned use of bear spray! I didn't know bears were such a problem in the PNW. I'm imagining them in wire glasses and flannel shirts growling at their baristas.
Geez, what a nightmare! That landlord should've had their landlord license revoked. (Also, landlords should have to get licenses.) I'm from upstate NY, but I don't remember us having centipede infestations. I got a couple bee stings, though. They don't mess around.
Black bears are all around here, but are pretty chill usually. I do a lot of hiking so I’m well acquainted with them… cougars and coyotes too. Ironically, it’s the mountain goats that you need to be more wary of.
The apartment was right by the Hudson River and the basement of the complex was a breeding ground for the centipedes. Some got to be 3 inches long *shudder*. The landlord even tried to charge for the smashed bugs on the walls when I moved out. Record was 27 smashed critters in one day. They be fast and they bite too.
Mountain goats are highly aggressive animals and attack over 6,000 people a year, with a number of them being fatal. Meanwhile black bear and cougar attacks are rare since they are more interested in getting away from you. Coyotes don’t bother adults at all, I’ve even hiked trails alongside them on occasion. They are fun conversationalists though do pose a risk to kids and pets.
My first ending was getting mauled by a bear :(. Found the path to get things fixed though. These are fun, I enjoy trying out the different options and seeing what endings there are.
Congratulations on three years! Thanks for brightening my day now and again :-)
I learned it's a bad idea to impersonate a lady Bigfoot. And it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
The worst apartment I ever lived in was in a basement in an older couple's house. I had only lived there a day or two when I arrived home from work to discover that the man was continuing to use my bathroom when I wasn't home. He was also suffering from some horrific, explosive bowel disorder which had completely spattered the walls. I don't even know how such a thing was humanly possible, but it haunts me to this day. I've never packed so fast in my life.
Thank you for playing! Happy to be a bright spot in your inbox.
Haha, in my opinion, it’s certainly the funniest idea. And in Adventure Snacks, that’s usually a good way to go.
That is absolutely disgusting. I’m so glad you didn’t try and stick it out. What you’re describing sounds less like an apartment and more like an attraction at Universal Horror Nights.
With Adventure Snacks, I'm always torn between a reasonable answer and a hilarious one. I never regret either choice :-)
And yeah, the apartment was the closest thing I've experienced to being in a horror movie. Not quite a disembodied voice warning me to "Get Out!" and like, _blood_ dripping down the walls, but I figured that was close enough...
First, congrats on the 3 year anniversary and all that sweet, sweet growth! I've gotta say, Adventure Snack just makes me happy. I like to play when I have short gaps during my workday. It's very... snackable!
As for this adventure, I did get that SOB Bigfoot to fix my tub. It wasn't easy. Thankfully, I have experience. See, Bigfoot reminds me a lot of my old landlord in Larchmont Village. He was tough to find and when we did find him, he usually tried to make repairs with duct tape. That was the worst apartment I ever had. Terrible plumbing, funky smells, and a neighbor living in an illegal unit who gave me strong serial killer vibes. On the upside, however, it was the cheapest apartment in Larchmont Village. And after a few years there, I had saved up plenty of money, so there's that.
Thank you! I'm *happy* to have you as a player. (See what I did there? Pretty cool.)
Oh wow, that sucks. I always think of Larchmont as being cute coffee shops and bakeries. I never imagined you could get such a bad place there, but I suppose there are bad landlords wherever you go. It's a constant in life, like death and taxes and confusion over grocery store food expiration dates. Anyway, glad you saved the money to get the hell outta there!
Your image of Larchmont is on point. My rent was way below market value for the area. When we moved out our movers were like, you’ve made a good choice.
In our last move, our movers were also like, “Good upgrade!” I’m wondering now if movers regularly assess their clients’ moves, as a matter of protocol.
I think they do. I read memoir once about a long haul trucker. He moved people and their households across the country. The book was full of insights into the lives of the people he moved. I guess when you think about it, moving someone is pretty intimate. The book is The Long Haul by Finn Murphy. It’s excellent!
Yes! I was successful on my first run-through.(Thank you bear spray and use of intimidation!)
The first place I moved into after college had beautiful views of the upstate NY countryside. The rent was dirt cheap and my landlords were pleasant people. The only downside was that there was a bit of a snake infestation issue...so that kind of ruined the fun. Ugh! 🐍
Congrats on three years of Adventure Snack, Geoffrey! I love seeing your text adventures pop up in my inbox.
Bigfoot is a schmuck, but I dug my Medusa plumber… don’t know how they avoided the mirror in the bathroom though. Or am I now the proud owner of a statue?
Overall, I’ve lived in pretty good places but I’ve been the bad neighbor once. I went away for two weeks and apparently sometime after leaving a security alarm went off in my home. No one who I was or knew my number. When I returned I could hear it when I turned onto the street, upon getting out of the car a neighbour angrily told me it’d been going off for days. They apparently called the police and they couldn’t do anything… I was much hated by the other tenants for the next five years. What does that have to do with the question? I’m sorry, what?
I would restore our bathroom to its former glory, we have a beautiful postwar house with cool art-deco features throughout but a hideous Bunnings (Australia’s Mecca) bathroom. One day we discovered old listings of our home and found out the bathroom used to have terrazzo floors, these black tortoiseshell tiles, bricking to the shower that was like an Aztec arch and all original Art Deco vanity, mirror and bath. Why these chumps thought they should throw a flat pack at it is beyond me.
The medusa wears special anti-reflection sunglasses, even at night. This is a ~professional~ we're talking about.
Well, it was obviously an accident, but I can imagine you not being the most popular guy on the block after that. Sorry, woof. The security company should've come and fixed it. THEY'RE the problem here!
Your house sounds amazing! I love art deco architecture. Do you know the previous owners? I think the mature thing to do would be to leave a flaming bag of poo in front of their house.
All I know about the previous owners is that they have horrible taste in bathrooms and moved to one of the most expensive suburbs in Adelaide. I could put flaming bags on everyone's doorstep?
The alarm was not attached to a security company, it was installed and then apparently the owners never updated the contract with them. It was just a glorified noise maker as a result.
For those of you who finished the quest, here's another Bigfoot challenge...
https://twitter.com/geoffreygolden/status/1552710987786043392?s=20&t=wiMcSFl-I5foJDDtbtYOSg
WARNING: Extreme Difficulty!
I can’t help but read “Bigfoot is your landlord” at the same cadence as Cake’s “Satan Is My Motor”
Bigfoot is your landlord
Hear your landlord roar
Bigfoot is your landlord
He'll take your cash for sure
Bigfoot is rich so he always has the upper hand
Living in the PNW, my first instinct was to grab the bear spray. Plumbing successfully fixed on the first try!
Worst place I’ve lived was an apartment in upstate NY infested by huge centipedes that the landlord refused to take care of. There were also bees every summer in the wall ac which was broken, again never fixed. Fun times for the newly independent.
Congrats on your successful and well-reasoned use of bear spray! I didn't know bears were such a problem in the PNW. I'm imagining them in wire glasses and flannel shirts growling at their baristas.
Geez, what a nightmare! That landlord should've had their landlord license revoked. (Also, landlords should have to get licenses.) I'm from upstate NY, but I don't remember us having centipede infestations. I got a couple bee stings, though. They don't mess around.
Black bears are all around here, but are pretty chill usually. I do a lot of hiking so I’m well acquainted with them… cougars and coyotes too. Ironically, it’s the mountain goats that you need to be more wary of.
The apartment was right by the Hudson River and the basement of the complex was a breeding ground for the centipedes. Some got to be 3 inches long *shudder*. The landlord even tried to charge for the smashed bugs on the walls when I moved out. Record was 27 smashed critters in one day. They be fast and they bite too.
Haha, the gall to charge a "bug smashing fee!" And 27 in ONE DAY. Holy crap, that's terrifying.
Hold on, if you don't mind sharing: Why are mountain goats more dangerous than cougars, coyotes, or bears?!
Mountain goats are highly aggressive animals and attack over 6,000 people a year, with a number of them being fatal. Meanwhile black bear and cougar attacks are rare since they are more interested in getting away from you. Coyotes don’t bother adults at all, I’ve even hiked trails alongside them on occasion. They are fun conversationalists though do pose a risk to kids and pets.
Absolutely fascinating. Sounds like we need a Sharknado type movie but about mountain goats! Goatpocalypse?
On my first playthrough, bigfoot trashed the place but I moved into a different spot where the rent was $500/month less.
Is this the best ending? I think so!
Upon reflection, I think you may be right!
I guess a lot depends on the value of the collectibles and whether they were destroyed
Bigfoot does wreck and stomp on many of your beloved Funko Pops, but your priceless Ming vase remains in tact, so it's a wash.
That does seem like a better outcome.
My first ending was getting mauled by a bear :(. Found the path to get things fixed though. These are fun, I enjoy trying out the different options and seeing what endings there are.
If at first you get mauled by a bear, try, try again (to not get mauled by a bear).
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the quests. Exploration is so much of the fun IMO.
Congratulations on three years! Thanks for brightening my day now and again :-)
I learned it's a bad idea to impersonate a lady Bigfoot. And it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
The worst apartment I ever lived in was in a basement in an older couple's house. I had only lived there a day or two when I arrived home from work to discover that the man was continuing to use my bathroom when I wasn't home. He was also suffering from some horrific, explosive bowel disorder which had completely spattered the walls. I don't even know how such a thing was humanly possible, but it haunts me to this day. I've never packed so fast in my life.
Thank you for playing! Happy to be a bright spot in your inbox.
Haha, in my opinion, it’s certainly the funniest idea. And in Adventure Snacks, that’s usually a good way to go.
That is absolutely disgusting. I’m so glad you didn’t try and stick it out. What you’re describing sounds less like an apartment and more like an attraction at Universal Horror Nights.
With Adventure Snacks, I'm always torn between a reasonable answer and a hilarious one. I never regret either choice :-)
And yeah, the apartment was the closest thing I've experienced to being in a horror movie. Not quite a disembodied voice warning me to "Get Out!" and like, _blood_ dripping down the walls, but I figured that was close enough...
First, congrats on the 3 year anniversary and all that sweet, sweet growth! I've gotta say, Adventure Snack just makes me happy. I like to play when I have short gaps during my workday. It's very... snackable!
As for this adventure, I did get that SOB Bigfoot to fix my tub. It wasn't easy. Thankfully, I have experience. See, Bigfoot reminds me a lot of my old landlord in Larchmont Village. He was tough to find and when we did find him, he usually tried to make repairs with duct tape. That was the worst apartment I ever had. Terrible plumbing, funky smells, and a neighbor living in an illegal unit who gave me strong serial killer vibes. On the upside, however, it was the cheapest apartment in Larchmont Village. And after a few years there, I had saved up plenty of money, so there's that.
Thank you! I'm *happy* to have you as a player. (See what I did there? Pretty cool.)
Oh wow, that sucks. I always think of Larchmont as being cute coffee shops and bakeries. I never imagined you could get such a bad place there, but I suppose there are bad landlords wherever you go. It's a constant in life, like death and taxes and confusion over grocery store food expiration dates. Anyway, glad you saved the money to get the hell outta there!
Oh I see what you did there!
Your image of Larchmont is on point. My rent was way below market value for the area. When we moved out our movers were like, you’ve made a good choice.
In our last move, our movers were also like, “Good upgrade!” I’m wondering now if movers regularly assess their clients’ moves, as a matter of protocol.
I think they do. I read memoir once about a long haul trucker. He moved people and their households across the country. The book was full of insights into the lives of the people he moved. I guess when you think about it, moving someone is pretty intimate. The book is The Long Haul by Finn Murphy. It’s excellent!
Yeah, you’re getting deep into people’s lives when you move their stuff. The books sounds great. Thanks for the recommendation!
Yes! I was successful on my first run-through.(Thank you bear spray and use of intimidation!)
The first place I moved into after college had beautiful views of the upstate NY countryside. The rent was dirt cheap and my landlords were pleasant people. The only downside was that there was a bit of a snake infestation issue...so that kind of ruined the fun. Ugh! 🐍
Congrats on three years of Adventure Snack, Geoffrey! I love seeing your text adventures pop up in my inbox.
SNAKE INFESTATION?! AAAAUGH!!!! I never knew this before, but now I know I will NOT live in a place with snake infestations on any scale.
Thank you for playing! I'm glad you love those snacks. I'll keep 'em coming.
Haha! Yes...these scars are permanent. 😅
Bigfoot is a schmuck, but I dug my Medusa plumber… don’t know how they avoided the mirror in the bathroom though. Or am I now the proud owner of a statue?
Overall, I’ve lived in pretty good places but I’ve been the bad neighbor once. I went away for two weeks and apparently sometime after leaving a security alarm went off in my home. No one who I was or knew my number. When I returned I could hear it when I turned onto the street, upon getting out of the car a neighbour angrily told me it’d been going off for days. They apparently called the police and they couldn’t do anything… I was much hated by the other tenants for the next five years. What does that have to do with the question? I’m sorry, what?
I would restore our bathroom to its former glory, we have a beautiful postwar house with cool art-deco features throughout but a hideous Bunnings (Australia’s Mecca) bathroom. One day we discovered old listings of our home and found out the bathroom used to have terrazzo floors, these black tortoiseshell tiles, bricking to the shower that was like an Aztec arch and all original Art Deco vanity, mirror and bath. Why these chumps thought they should throw a flat pack at it is beyond me.
The medusa wears special anti-reflection sunglasses, even at night. This is a ~professional~ we're talking about.
Well, it was obviously an accident, but I can imagine you not being the most popular guy on the block after that. Sorry, woof. The security company should've come and fixed it. THEY'RE the problem here!
Your house sounds amazing! I love art deco architecture. Do you know the previous owners? I think the mature thing to do would be to leave a flaming bag of poo in front of their house.
All I know about the previous owners is that they have horrible taste in bathrooms and moved to one of the most expensive suburbs in Adelaide. I could put flaming bags on everyone's doorstep?
The alarm was not attached to a security company, it was installed and then apparently the owners never updated the contract with them. It was just a glorified noise maker as a result.
> I could put flaming bags on everyone's doorstep?
You could and you should. It’s well within your rights!
Damn it I'm gonna miss that Cosplay concert poster
Luckily, it's insured, so you'll get enough cash to buy one of those rad hologram lenticular posters!