Never Say Tomorrow Will Die Enough
You're a spy adult in a spy kid's world.
Today’s quest will take a mixture of confidence, skill, and dumb luck – shaken, not stirred. Once your mission is complete, join your fellow adventurers for Table Talk and a live show on Twitch. Tally ho!
You are a super spy on the floor of a ritzy French casino. A nice joint. Real classy-like. At a crowded roulette table you spot your high-rolling target. He is Rufus Painwright, a mustachioed arms dealer in a white suit covered in blood stains. Everyone knows Rufus enjoys murdering people for fun and profit, and his wealth puts him above the law, so why bother with dry cleaning? Rufus catches your eye and waves you over to the mahogany table.
"Shall we dispense with the pleasantries?" he whispers with a gravely British accent that conjures respect, authority, and centuries of colonialism. "I have the device. Do as I say, or my rockets will transform cities into glorified potholes. Or as we British call them, lumpyscrumps."
"Yes, we do call them that," you agree, as you are also British. "What do you want? Money?"
"Let's play a little game. If I win, the world dies. If you win, it lives. Can't get more high stakes than that."
Rufus claps. The goons carry away the roulette table. Underneath is a gold-plated version of the 1990 preschool game Mr. Bucket on a slick hardwood floor. Rufus hands you a tiny red plastic shovel. You must collect the red balls that spew from the cartoon bucket's mouth and drop them back into his bucket body faster than Rufus does with his yellow balls... or global civilization will collapse in a burst of fire and blood.
What would you like to do?
If you'd like to cheat, click here.
To play Mr. Bucket fairly...
Change the number of colors to "4."
Roll the color dice 12 times.
If you roll red 3 or more times, click here.
Otherwise, click here.
When your quest is complete, it’s time to debrief. Join your fellow adventurers at the virtual D&D table we call the comments section. This convo’s gonna be a critical hit.
Today’s topics of discussion:
🤞 Did you take the cheating option? If so, how did it make you feel?
🍸 What’s your favorite James Bond movie? Goldfinger has everything I want in a Bond film: a perfect title song, funny character names, a powerful laser beam, and an unusual hat. A+
✅ What’s an “impossible mission” you want to complete in your life?
Share your thoughts in the comments (or email a reply if you’re shy).
WORDHACK WITH ME
Since 2014, WordHack has hosted shows in NYC spotlighting creators who innovate on the use of language in digital media. I’m super stoked to be presenting Adventure Snack LIVE at WordHack this month! I’ll be playing a snack with the audience, then I’ll reveal a few behind-the-scenes secrets about how I develop the games.
✏️ 🗓️ Mark your calendars: Thursday, March 17th at 7 pm EST on Twitch.
There will be two more rad speakers: Kathy Wu, an artist and computational poet, and Alejandro Crawford, co-founder of immersive experience studio 2n Design. If you would like to speak, there’s an Open Projector section where you can present a project. Sign-up here. It’s gonna be a banger!
FIRST TIME HERE?
Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!
I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.