Teleporter or Time Travel. I don’t think I could handle the pressures of time travel. Every step I took in the past, I’d be thinking about how if I squish the wrong ant it could somehow trigger a nuclear zombie apocalypse. Every move I make in the future could fork into some kind of alternate timeline, breaking the fabric of the universe? So I think I’ll stick getting any place instantaneously, thereby never having to fly Southwest again.
Go on, live a little. Time travel all the way,. I’m foolhardy enough to make it work and if I happen to erase the existence of humanity as we know it? Hell, I’m pretty sure I can remember enough to get us back on track... or be enslaved by another, much more powerful species.
Look, I appreciate a good paradox but I guess we operate on different theories of time travel. Luckily I’m pretty confident that I’ll be right about this conceptual time travel matter of which I know nothing.
I came so close and then blew it at the end. The cynic in me assumes everything is a trick question... But good tip about the corn! I hope tortilla chips count!
The teleporter is really tempting, but I was an archaeology student, so I can't pass up the opportunity to go back in time and see all that cool stuff before it got trashed.
Hah, got through on the first try, nice turn around from when I got mauled while looking for Bigfoot. It's a shame Alicia is on the shuttle too, that single paragraph of characterization is enough to know that she deserves death. If only we had a Pulverizer gun.
I bumbled into the ending where I acquired the gun!
Teleporter vs. time travel depends on the specifics.
Is the teleporter making a new copy of me somewhere else then drowning the old me in a tank of water? Is it that creepy Steven King teleportation where you have to be asleep when you go through or else you experience an infinity of nothingness before finally popping out dead on the other side? Do I get to use it like a wizard or do I need to use designated gates?
Is this the time travel where you rewind into your old body, or where you could talk to past you? Is time a single stream where I can I make myself not exist like in Back to the Future 1? Or does it branch into separate timelines that exist independently like in Back to the Future 2? Can paradoxes happen, and if they do does the universe implode or does a scientist just yell at me?
With so many unknowns, I'll go with teleportation and only use it on inorganic matter. No monkey paw for me thank you very much.
Absolutely, time travel all the way. Visit dead loved ones and win the lottery with no consequences? Fuck yeaahh. Hypothetical me is gonna have a blast.
Sadly, I was vaporised into Space Debris. But thats ok, because aren't we all just made of space dust? In millions of years, a new planet will form out of me, and then one day centuries later the people of the planet will come into contact with the aliens who killed me, and after a lengthy space battle the people of my planet will come out victorious! It may take a very long time, but my death will eventually be avenged!
I think for the Time Travel vs Teleporter question tho I would go with Teleporter. Imagine how much easier life would be if you could just teleport goods from location A to B. I could teleport my groceries from the supermarket straight to my home. Shipping time for goods from overseas would be cut down from weeks to just seconds. Fragile goods could be sent safely without risk of damage. I'm not sure I would want to teleport people tho, due to the whole question of "is it the original person that is reconstructed at the other end or is it a copy of the original?" Plus, sometimes the trip from A to B is more about the journey than the destination.
I respect how you’re playing the looooooong game here. And I like that becoming one with the universe made you MORE vengeful. Go get ‘em!
There’s no question that a teleporter would make life easier. It’s a solid choice. I do wonder about the “is this person a copy” problem. But what if getting teleported makes you cooler? You reach your destination and you’ve got a swagger in your walk and a new pair of shades? That’d be fun!
I got off this ghetto** planet! But the wellness blogger is def gonna grate my nerves by day 3...
Absolutely believe there's more intelligent life in the universe(s?)! I assume we're on the low end of the spectrum -- I mean, look at us -- and that humans probably aren't even capable of perceiving alien intelligence as such. Kinda like how we don't know/honor the inherent intelligences of all the other life on THIS planet. Again, ghetto!
Yay! Congratulations on surviving! As for the blogger, well, there's always the airlock...
This is such a good point. We don't collectively recognize the intelligence of our fellow humans, so if aliens came down speaking in three dimensional hyper math, we wouldn't try to understand them. We'd just laugh at the Jimmy Fallon skit about them.
I made it off this mud-ball of a planet. It was close, but I made it. What really helped was playing Adventure Snack on the regular. Sure, it's an entertaining interactive fiction newsletter, but it's also great for building decision-making skills in stressful / bizarro situations!
Intelligent life? I'm gonna answer both. I'm pretty sure there's life out there that's smarter than us, but I think (hope, really) that we're not the dumbest intelligent life form out there. That being said, we're working really hard to prove just how dumb we are.
Time travel vs. teleport? I'm tempted by time travel. First, I'd love to nerd-out and see some history firsthand. Second, I'm keen to go full Biff from Back to the Future and bet big on sporting events. But my concern is that time travel gets into someone else's hands and they travel back in time and make it so my parents don't meet. That would erase me and render all my history vacations and sports betting moot. On the other hand, teleportation seems like it could really cut down on my travel time and costs. Plus, I could turn that into a business and disrupt everything from Uber to United Airlines. I pick teleportation; beam me up!
Congratulations on making it out alive, survivor! I'm happy to help prepare folks for stressful / bizarro situations, aka the last six years.
Yeah, I have a feeling it's going to be a mixed bag. Like, the aliens will be technologically superior in every way, cruising around at light speed and zapping each other with orgasm rays, but every one of them is named "Zandor" and they don't know which Zandor is which.
Yes! There's so much potential for undoing with time travel. I don't want anyone to make it so I never was born. Of course, a teleporter accident might cause me to become half-fly, but there are benefits to that. I could start tasting food with my feet!
If a teleporter accident is anything like the time TWA lost my luggage, I'm really concerned. Then again, after losing everything I owned, TWA did go out of business, so there's that!
Teleporter or Time Travel. I don’t think I could handle the pressures of time travel. Every step I took in the past, I’d be thinking about how if I squish the wrong ant it could somehow trigger a nuclear zombie apocalypse. Every move I make in the future could fork into some kind of alternate timeline, breaking the fabric of the universe? So I think I’ll stick getting any place instantaneously, thereby never having to fly Southwest again.
Teleporting all the way. Commuting sucks and I’d have so many more opportunities.
As far as future modes of transport go, I’d much rather get in a teleporter than one of those Jetsons tubes.
I just imagine going too fast and having the poop pulled out of me. 😣
Go on, live a little. Time travel all the way,. I’m foolhardy enough to make it work and if I happen to erase the existence of humanity as we know it? Hell, I’m pretty sure I can remember enough to get us back on track... or be enslaved by another, much more powerful species.
If you erase the existence of humanity, then you won't exist to get us back on track!
Terrifyingly foolproof.
Look, I appreciate a good paradox but I guess we operate on different theories of time travel. Luckily I’m pretty confident that I’ll be right about this conceptual time travel matter of which I know nothing.
Sir, your confidence is terrifying.
I came so close and then blew it at the end. The cynic in me assumes everything is a trick question... But good tip about the corn! I hope tortilla chips count!
The teleporter is really tempting, but I was an archaeology student, so I can't pass up the opportunity to go back in time and see all that cool stuff before it got trashed.
Tortilla chips count DOUBLE. You’re doing great!
How awesome that you studied archeology. Yeah, it’d be fun to look at statues with the noses ON for once.
Hah, got through on the first try, nice turn around from when I got mauled while looking for Bigfoot. It's a shame Alicia is on the shuttle too, that single paragraph of characterization is enough to know that she deserves death. If only we had a Pulverizer gun.
Congrats on a great first run, William! 🥇
Though there's no way to off Alicia, there ~is~ a way to get yourself a pulverizer gun of your very own...
I bumbled into the ending where I acquired the gun!
Teleporter vs. time travel depends on the specifics.
Is the teleporter making a new copy of me somewhere else then drowning the old me in a tank of water? Is it that creepy Steven King teleportation where you have to be asleep when you go through or else you experience an infinity of nothingness before finally popping out dead on the other side? Do I get to use it like a wizard or do I need to use designated gates?
Is this the time travel where you rewind into your old body, or where you could talk to past you? Is time a single stream where I can I make myself not exist like in Back to the Future 1? Or does it branch into separate timelines that exist independently like in Back to the Future 2? Can paradoxes happen, and if they do does the universe implode or does a scientist just yell at me?
With so many unknowns, I'll go with teleportation and only use it on inorganic matter. No monkey paw for me thank you very much.
Ayyy, well done! AOL Voice: "You've got GUN."
These are all great and important questions. Let's say there's no monkey paws here. It's the idealized version of each.
Teleporter: Open portals like a wizard. Instantly go anywhere. You are yourself, not a copy.
Time Travel: No paradoxes. Single stream. You can change the future, but you can never make yourself not exist.
Would that change your answer?
Absolutely, time travel all the way. Visit dead loved ones and win the lottery with no consequences? Fuck yeaahh. Hypothetical me is gonna have a blast.
Sadly, I was vaporised into Space Debris. But thats ok, because aren't we all just made of space dust? In millions of years, a new planet will form out of me, and then one day centuries later the people of the planet will come into contact with the aliens who killed me, and after a lengthy space battle the people of my planet will come out victorious! It may take a very long time, but my death will eventually be avenged!
I think for the Time Travel vs Teleporter question tho I would go with Teleporter. Imagine how much easier life would be if you could just teleport goods from location A to B. I could teleport my groceries from the supermarket straight to my home. Shipping time for goods from overseas would be cut down from weeks to just seconds. Fragile goods could be sent safely without risk of damage. I'm not sure I would want to teleport people tho, due to the whole question of "is it the original person that is reconstructed at the other end or is it a copy of the original?" Plus, sometimes the trip from A to B is more about the journey than the destination.
I respect how you’re playing the looooooong game here. And I like that becoming one with the universe made you MORE vengeful. Go get ‘em!
There’s no question that a teleporter would make life easier. It’s a solid choice. I do wonder about the “is this person a copy” problem. But what if getting teleported makes you cooler? You reach your destination and you’ve got a swagger in your walk and a new pair of shades? That’d be fun!
I got off this ghetto** planet! But the wellness blogger is def gonna grate my nerves by day 3...
Absolutely believe there's more intelligent life in the universe(s?)! I assume we're on the low end of the spectrum -- I mean, look at us -- and that humans probably aren't even capable of perceiving alien intelligence as such. Kinda like how we don't know/honor the inherent intelligences of all the other life on THIS planet. Again, ghetto!
**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr2xMRSObto
Yay! Congratulations on surviving! As for the blogger, well, there's always the airlock...
This is such a good point. We don't collectively recognize the intelligence of our fellow humans, so if aliens came down speaking in three dimensional hyper math, we wouldn't try to understand them. We'd just laugh at the Jimmy Fallon skit about them.
I made it off this mud-ball of a planet. It was close, but I made it. What really helped was playing Adventure Snack on the regular. Sure, it's an entertaining interactive fiction newsletter, but it's also great for building decision-making skills in stressful / bizarro situations!
Intelligent life? I'm gonna answer both. I'm pretty sure there's life out there that's smarter than us, but I think (hope, really) that we're not the dumbest intelligent life form out there. That being said, we're working really hard to prove just how dumb we are.
Time travel vs. teleport? I'm tempted by time travel. First, I'd love to nerd-out and see some history firsthand. Second, I'm keen to go full Biff from Back to the Future and bet big on sporting events. But my concern is that time travel gets into someone else's hands and they travel back in time and make it so my parents don't meet. That would erase me and render all my history vacations and sports betting moot. On the other hand, teleportation seems like it could really cut down on my travel time and costs. Plus, I could turn that into a business and disrupt everything from Uber to United Airlines. I pick teleportation; beam me up!
Congratulations on making it out alive, survivor! I'm happy to help prepare folks for stressful / bizarro situations, aka the last six years.
Yeah, I have a feeling it's going to be a mixed bag. Like, the aliens will be technologically superior in every way, cruising around at light speed and zapping each other with orgasm rays, but every one of them is named "Zandor" and they don't know which Zandor is which.
Yes! There's so much potential for undoing with time travel. I don't want anyone to make it so I never was born. Of course, a teleporter accident might cause me to become half-fly, but there are benefits to that. I could start tasting food with my feet!
If a teleporter accident is anything like the time TWA lost my luggage, I'm really concerned. Then again, after losing everything I owned, TWA did go out of business, so there's that!