Aug 20, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Greetings, fellow travelers! I am Inspector Lagoon Gil, arcane detective. I use my magical powers to help the sorcerer's guild with any investigative needs they may have—everything from wayward spirits to missing doomsday talismans. Although I will admit that, especially as of late, my job usually consists of tracking down mages who "forgot" to pay their dues. I am also open to commissions, so if you need something—or someone—found quickly, just hand me a letter of marque and an initial payment. I accept gold, silver, ale, and most manacurrencies*, including Magecoin and Ichoreum.

*(ie, currency that's built on spell-chain ledgers, and thus only circulates in the astral plane)


As for my favorite game story, that'd have to be EarthBound (1995, SNES). It so masterfully uses the nature, features, and quirks of video games as a medium to tell its story. A story that only a video game could tell. And one that's changed my life and *still* echoes in my mind over 25 years later. It is perfection.

Chrono Trigger's a close-yet-somewhat-distant second (pun intended), for similar reasons.

As for procrastination, for me, it's either pleasure writing or pleasure gaming (as opposed to work-related writing and gaming... but either way, I'm having fun!).

Ah, that was fun! Anyway, HELLO, new subscribers!!! You're in for a treat! This is *easily* one of my Top 3 favorite newsletters, and always love getting the notification when a new issue's published. The snacks are short, sweet, sharp, and sidesplitting-laughter-inducing. Geoffrey's writing is *hilarious*. Enjoy!

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Aug 20, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hiiiiii 👋🏾 I’m a regular snacker and this is a cool thing!

Not sure if it’s my favorite, but online shopping and research rabbit holes are where most of my procrastination time ends up! In a way searching for the perfect ergonomic flashlight and not buying it is a fun lil game too?

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Nov 19, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Oi! Ain't nothin' ta see 'ere. Just Jack'n Jump with a crag'n kog in the back sticks. Ya need a dooda gipped or an oil down the flu I'm the bob ya need. Ya dun need any o' dat ya might wanna move on before ya get a Duskdale handkerchief, if ya get my glint.

Names? Ain't gunna let ya tag me. Do I look like a jingler or a beller? Ya gotta use a plume hue me as Veevee. Try to hard to find out much else and it'll be the last blink ya ever think.

No being a dullard now, keep ya peeps popped an stay outta my way!

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Sep 13, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Since I'm particularly awful at being anyone other than myself, I decided to answer the other two questions!

My favorite game story? Pre-pandemic, back when spending time at my desk playing on my computer was a treat, and not something I had to do every day, I loved loved loved Life is Strange. Between solving the mystery and getting to play with time travel, it was just the best. Now though, I'm hugely in to board games, and I'm loving the story on Sleeping Gods. I'm playing with my son, and we're having a great time exploring the world of the Wandering Sea and following all the plotlines there.

When I should be working, I'm happiest spending time researching board games, and absorbing fussy little details about games in order to teach them better to others. I also like taking stretch breaks that involve playing with and cuddling my cats, because they're much more adorable than the attorneys that I work with. :)

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Hello! 👋🏾

When I’m supposed to be working, I like to tend to my plants or go out on the terrace and bask in the sun. I’ve been called a reptile due to my affinity for warm temperatures. My apartment has been as warm as 82 degrees! I also like to make carpet angels.

My favorite video game memories don’t actually involve me playing them, but advising my brother on strategy. I’ve seen so many Super Mario games and been a proud observer for decades. Snipers need a spotter. Pilots need copilots. Captains need first officers. I’m that.

While I usually go by Chevanne, I often go by Wilhelmina Castigan to my loyal subjects and peers within the Gohan Empire. I love to receive letters and practice necromancy (weather permitting) when not engaged in voracious reading and light criminal mischief. Look forward to meeting like-minded authoritarians. ✌🏾

But seriously, I found an old CYO book from my teens and considered writing a horror story. I quickly realized I was out of my depth. It takes a different kind of creativity to explore possible outcomes and make it fun. Geoffrey is so skilled at his work. Rather than even bother with jealousy, I’m committed to remaining a fan and supporter. Besides his amazing Substack, he is also a genuine and kind person, which fills me with fuzzies. Come for the games, stay for the great community and writer behind it.

Welcome snackers!

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Greetings snack-sized adventurers!

I am Michael, jester of Situation Normal.

Lord Geoffrey of the Snack has invited me to talk to Table, and since gigs are hard to come by, I've accepted.

What's that, Table, what is my favorite game? Hmmm.... tough question, Table. I enjoy Trivial Pursuit because I've pursued a great deal of trivial knowledge in my day; also, I like collecting pies. On the video game side, Table, I'm a fan of the Sid Meier Civilization games. Full disclosure: I have a mild god complex, but it's common for jesters and, the doctors say, treatable.

What do I enjoy doing when I'm supposed to be working? Great question, Table! The answer is procrastinating. It's my number one activity when I'm supposed to be working. My preferred methods for procrastination are: cooking, scrolling through tiktok, and talking to strangers!

Speaking of which, Table, I look forward to getting to know you as we play Adventure Snack!

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Dec 15, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I’ve never been part of a gaming community, just lurking about on rpg boards, watching Twitch playthroughs, or going on YouTube. I’ve always found myself entranced with the idea of it though, like gulping a shot of espresso to boost my day during work slumps. I think these adventurous romps would be perfect for me, and I thank you in advance for coming up with the idea.

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Nov 6, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Forbidden from the lands of his origins, forced to capture the stories of his kind through the slanted light of metaphor, cursed to perpetually speak in the third person, Nue arises from the misty clouds. Owl feather quill dripping with ink, which implies lack of use more so than frequency or proficiency, he scratches his head with his free arm. Eyes furrowing in confusion. His lanky limbs, and rotund core betray some ancient giant linage. Though his inelegant steps seem to imply he is simply an oaf.


Game story: The ones that arise from those long campaigns, where there's too much backstory to share with anyone outside of the players. One's that remain as distant memories, until they're retold in full to rapt audiences.

Oh, and i fuck intensely with a good garfield strip.


When I'm supposed to be working, I'm usually reading something unrelated to what i'm supposed to be doing, or scrolling around online, or talking with friends about how i'm supposed to be working, and how much of a cool boy i'm being by slacking off. They usually don't reply until later, because they're working.

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I am Drinkerton the Druid. Tree lover, vegan spellcaster, and master of press-ups in the forest. Too shy to go sky-clad, I wear green robes made out of poison ivy (since it is a reminder that life is pain). I tell stories by the campfire and sometimes smell of elderberry.


Game story: often the ones that come out of boardgames with friends. Recently I taught a friend to play The Duke and Coup. It was a themed evening of treachery and subterfuge.

When I am supposed to be working I read books about Linux. I did have a go at turning one of my novellas into a choose-your-own-adventure thingy once, since I grew up with Fighting Fantasy books.

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Hey, I'm Patricia and I may be obsessed with ghosts, cryptids, and serial killers. Those 3 fit, right? 😉 I'm not sure I have a favorite game story but I've definitely lost a few hundred hours to Zelda: BotW and Stardew Valley so there's a chill factor.

Naps are great procrastination tasks IMO. I can't say knitting because I sell what I make so that might be considered working. (I made the hat my profile pic and my most recent creation is a small hammerhead shark that fits in your palm.)

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Sep 15, 2023·edited Sep 15, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I don't know who I am, but I'm sure I'm a level 1, so please do not attack. Please. Do not. Attack.

These days my favorite game story is Red Dead Redemption 2, which I didn't play until three years after it came out, because I'm out of the loop when it comes to video games. I'd have to say KOTOR is a close second, and if you'd asked me a few years ago that would've been my answer. There's something about the force user arcs of the 2000s that I really loved, across all media.

I haven't read much when it comes to table top games. Maybe a couple of RA Salvatore's books, but I didn't keep going. Nothing against his writing or the stories, I was just struggling with time management in those days.

Speaking of time management... When I'm supposed to be working, but I am in fact not working, I am probably doom scrolling on one social or another. Do I actually enjoy that? No, not at all. I'm just drawn to it, like a June Bug to a camp fire.

Anyway, I'm just curious how this all works, so I'm here to find out. Looks like fun.

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Jul 28, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Greetings, all. My name is Seril, but you may know me better as the goddess of the land. I created magic and now watch over the humans of my continent. It is humbling to meet people outside of my realm.


Hi! I go by the pseudonym of Myinc, although Seril was my second choice.

My favourite video game story is between Xenoblade Chronicles or Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I'm a fan of JRPGs. The Fire Emblem series is solid in terms of story overall (although the latest installment, Fire Emblem: Engage, is... well, not like the others, in the best way I can put it). As for the Xenoblade Chronicles series, I only like the first game and find the others to be lacking in storytelling.

While I'm supposed to be working, I sometimes have a random thought, leading me to search it up, then going on Wikipedia, and then getting caught down a rabbit hole. It's a very absorbing way for me to get distracted!

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Jul 28, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Greetings, subjects! I am your King Atarius, the 2600th. Please enjoy the wood paneling of my steed's saddleskirt as well as the firmness of my joystick.

My favorite game story is one created for my coronation, in truth, by noble gamesmith Warren Robinett. He called it "Adventure" and he based it upon my own legendary adventure to find our kingdom's lost chalice and return it to the Golden Castle. I slayed dragons, ducked bats, got lost in catacombs... it was a whole thing. But I loved every moment of it. Sir Robinett did a wonderous job reproducing the excitement in his game.

When I'm not galloping over the Pitfalls of my 8-bit kingdom ducking Asteroids and engaging in ceremonial Combat, I like to read comics and write comedy specs.

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Hi, I’m Niall, I am a (rolls dice) a cleric who (rolls dice) writes speculative fiction, and other things for fun. So far, I have been (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) successful but I’m just starting out really in my old age.

Games: mmm, my son recently got his dream job at a gaming printer and publisher in England. He will have time to develop his own ideas. I attended a games night of his once: I was a fat, balding cleric. In the first room, I opened a sack of mouldy flour, rolled a D20 for a fortitude check, scored 1 and died. 2 was the threshold. Please stop by my stack, I keep rolling 3s here.

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Well met, is this the new round table? I was just in that big shiny room around the corner--the one with a big round table and burly metal-clad folks all sitting round roughhousing and quipping? Seemed like I was in the right place, but they told me to go down the hall and turn left and find the “new” round table?

Me? I’ve got this Deadblow Hammer of Wry Wit I inherited from my uncle and I seem to have a rare gift that repels strangers that could come in useful--see it’s working already!

My questing experience includes Thirteen Dead End Drive (I have a knack for falling off bookcases and landing in the room where all the murdering happened) and I’m a dab hand at dying in the Last of Us.

Oh? What have people paid me for in the past? Well, it’s a bit unconventional. I port to a parallel universe where the predominant sentient species is obsessed with rocketing themselves off their planet onto others-- I sell them magical equipment that emulates their home planet’s cuddly statistics like temperature and pressure so they can go exploring. After I log off, I lift the hammer to keep the biceps rippin’ and take my glutes and hammies for a ride on something I bought from that parallel universe--it’s called a Peloton and with it you get to compete against those planet-seeking aliens while one of them yells or laughs or cries at you. All good fun. In the evening times I brew a bucket of tea and hammer out some stories.

Well, I do feel I’ve prattled on a bit. And I came all this way. Any chance I can steal some of that Chex mix?

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Mar 31, 2023Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hullo. Green here. Just an anthropomorphic mushroom backpacking its way through the dense jungles of life. Nothing much to see. On a permanent quest to fight against its own sedentary mind and vilifying laziness. In its stomach frequently are the corpses of various books and ideas floating in a sea of putrid acid. Someday it will deign to spit out something of use and value of its own.

Likes imagination and investigating the mental landscapes of other people. Has an insatiable appetite and overzealous enthusiasim for things that scare other people. Making confused noises all the time.


What do I enjoy when I'm supposed to be working?

Well, anything but working, of course. Reading about this or that, writing, spiraling into a self-philosophizing session with the mind, learning about the belfries and spires of Venetian churches and bell towers (of all things), (making grievous attempts to) sing along with Italian hip hop songs ... and the likes.

It's really nice to be here!

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