Greetings, fellow travelers! I am Inspector Lagoon Gil, arcane detective. I use my magical powers to help the sorcerer's guild with any investigative needs they may have—everything from wayward spirits to missing doomsday talismans. Although I will admit that, especially as of late, my job usually consists of tracking down mages who "forgot" to pay their dues. I am also open to commissions, so if you need something—or someone—found quickly, just hand me a letter of marque and an initial payment. I accept gold, silver, ale, and most manacurrencies*, including Magecoin and Ichoreum.

*(ie, currency that's built on spell-chain ledgers, and thus only circulates in the astral plane)


As for my favorite game story, that'd have to be EarthBound (1995, SNES). It so masterfully uses the nature, features, and quirks of video games as a medium to tell its story. A story that only a video game could tell. And one that's changed my life and *still* echoes in my mind over 25 years later. It is perfection.

Chrono Trigger's a close-yet-somewhat-distant second (pun intended), for similar reasons.

As for procrastination, for me, it's either pleasure writing or pleasure gaming (as opposed to work-related writing and gaming... but either way, I'm having fun!).

Ah, that was fun! Anyway, HELLO, new subscribers!!! You're in for a treat! This is *easily* one of my Top 3 favorite newsletters, and always love getting the notification when a new issue's published. The snacks are short, sweet, sharp, and sidesplitting-laughter-inducing. Geoffrey's writing is *hilarious*. Enjoy!

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Aug 20, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hiiiiii 👋🏾 I’m a regular snacker and this is a cool thing!

Not sure if it’s my favorite, but online shopping and research rabbit holes are where most of my procrastination time ends up! In a way searching for the perfect ergonomic flashlight and not buying it is a fun lil game too?

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Nov 19, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Oi! Ain't nothin' ta see 'ere. Just Jack'n Jump with a crag'n kog in the back sticks. Ya need a dooda gipped or an oil down the flu I'm the bob ya need. Ya dun need any o' dat ya might wanna move on before ya get a Duskdale handkerchief, if ya get my glint.

Names? Ain't gunna let ya tag me. Do I look like a jingler or a beller? Ya gotta use a plume hue me as Veevee. Try to hard to find out much else and it'll be the last blink ya ever think.

No being a dullard now, keep ya peeps popped an stay outta my way!

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Sep 13, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Since I'm particularly awful at being anyone other than myself, I decided to answer the other two questions!

My favorite game story? Pre-pandemic, back when spending time at my desk playing on my computer was a treat, and not something I had to do every day, I loved loved loved Life is Strange. Between solving the mystery and getting to play with time travel, it was just the best. Now though, I'm hugely in to board games, and I'm loving the story on Sleeping Gods. I'm playing with my son, and we're having a great time exploring the world of the Wandering Sea and following all the plotlines there.

When I should be working, I'm happiest spending time researching board games, and absorbing fussy little details about games in order to teach them better to others. I also like taking stretch breaks that involve playing with and cuddling my cats, because they're much more adorable than the attorneys that I work with. :)

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Hello! 👋🏾

When I’m supposed to be working, I like to tend to my plants or go out on the terrace and bask in the sun. I’ve been called a reptile due to my affinity for warm temperatures. My apartment has been as warm as 82 degrees! I also like to make carpet angels.

My favorite video game memories don’t actually involve me playing them, but advising my brother on strategy. I’ve seen so many Super Mario games and been a proud observer for decades. Snipers need a spotter. Pilots need copilots. Captains need first officers. I’m that.

While I usually go by Chevanne, I often go by Wilhelmina Castigan to my loyal subjects and peers within the Gohan Empire. I love to receive letters and practice necromancy (weather permitting) when not engaged in voracious reading and light criminal mischief. Look forward to meeting like-minded authoritarians. ✌🏾

But seriously, I found an old CYO book from my teens and considered writing a horror story. I quickly realized I was out of my depth. It takes a different kind of creativity to explore possible outcomes and make it fun. Geoffrey is so skilled at his work. Rather than even bother with jealousy, I’m committed to remaining a fan and supporter. Besides his amazing Substack, he is also a genuine and kind person, which fills me with fuzzies. Come for the games, stay for the great community and writer behind it.

Welcome snackers!

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Greetings snack-sized adventurers!

I am Michael, jester of Situation Normal.

Lord Geoffrey of the Snack has invited me to talk to Table, and since gigs are hard to come by, I've accepted.

What's that, Table, what is my favorite game? Hmmm.... tough question, Table. I enjoy Trivial Pursuit because I've pursued a great deal of trivial knowledge in my day; also, I like collecting pies. On the video game side, Table, I'm a fan of the Sid Meier Civilization games. Full disclosure: I have a mild god complex, but it's common for jesters and, the doctors say, treatable.

What do I enjoy doing when I'm supposed to be working? Great question, Table! The answer is procrastinating. It's my number one activity when I'm supposed to be working. My preferred methods for procrastination are: cooking, scrolling through tiktok, and talking to strangers!

Speaking of which, Table, I look forward to getting to know you as we play Adventure Snack!

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I am an adventure junkie so I will jump parachuteless with glee ..... aaahhgr

You have surely missed my outstanding Subtract!

Friendly regards from Nicaragua, heavily sanctioned, where I scrape by at the Gates of Hell, the Masaya Volcano, at the very bleeding heart of Central America. Hell, sweet hell, err, home. I meant home, sweet hell!


Esteemed Substacker, If you read my first two posts, you will find out about how dramatic and humble my landing here actually was. Then I started to write and post like a madman like there was no tomorrow because my real life situation seemed that way, and things have not calmed down, have not changed yet! Not only because life, in general and particular, is not a word, but a sentence, but because sometimes serving this sentence makes one feel like dropping dead any minute, I have decided to chime in with something transcendentally relevant. Enjoy it to the very last breath as I do, a soldier of Christ, fighting in the first row, breathing heavily, no matter cannon fodder you do not have to pledge anything, my efforts are always free.

Left to my own devices and salivating in the tropical scorcher, in the erupting drought season, the promised $20 bill of rights rain has not even started yet for me here on Subtract, yes, I just want to make you laugh, not cry, as I wipe a tear or two. It seems like nobody´s gold pennies can reach my flying BullShip skyhigh. Yet I stay working Job, patience is my virtue upon the rack, tried, drawn, and quartered as vice driven through the rusty nails of my faith .... until I, one-armed, cannot carry my heavy cross anymore. I keep saying this only to myself as a wounded gladiator in the public arena. Hope you all still having fun ....

Substack is my new home, like I was sort of homeless. And yes, it does get lonely in the jungle if you live alone. Substack to me now means the world, the greatest platform where I can share my massive varied writing stuff. I have quite a few posts already here with 69, whoops, subscribers and growing every day as people are finally noticing my stranded S.O.S. sign on the beach! Thank God, thanks to you good people. Thank you for noticing me, for hearing me out, for supporting me! I am truly humbled. Do not let my monumental or trivial issues grind you down! God bless you all!






PS: Please excuse my typos, grammar, etc. because I am not perfect, I am just human. I use a looking glass and my second rate English is my third yet my most beloved language.

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Jan 22Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hello, I just joined this web game book pills. My main distraction when I should be working is discovering data, curious things that make my mind wander and get lost in time. I'm a born procrastinator: Lucas the Laid Back. I should get to work, but I always find distractions, until the last moment.

Delighted to be here and thus distract myself with these stories in which prominence is savored in a different way, like those of 30 years ago.

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Jan 6Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I like reading and making stacks

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Dec 26, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hey, I am a royal golden haired fae by day and a shadow-come-alive sneaky rogue by night. Also, I am very tired.

My deep dark secret us that I never played D&D and that makes me sad.

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Dec 2, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hello all,

My name is Dantares, a Druid half-elf. I have a specialized knowledge of arcane herbs, and although I can cast a powerful fireball, illusion is where I shine! I like to use wit and charm to solve my problems over violence.

Favorite game story? That’s a hard one! I have fond memories of the old Ultima games, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VI, Planescape:Torment, and Metal Gear Solid - and my character name is a nod to the Shining Force series(I love and miss my Sega Saturn). Lately, I have been playing through Disco Elysium, which has really been impressing me story wise!

I started playing tabletop with 2nd Edition Dungeons and Dragons, but fell off until I bought the 5e books(still haven’t found a group, but love reading through them!) I’ve also been reading the Call of Cthulhu handbooks, and played through one of their solo adventures, “Alone Against the Frost.” It scratched an itch I’ve had for a VERY long time. I found Adventure Snack by checking out “Rolled and Told” on impulse from my local library, and playing through “Forest of Delusion!” I looked up Geoffrey Golden, and here we are(or here I am. Or is it ‘we?’”).

When I’m not working, I daydream about traveling. I have taken lots of imaginary vacations, and hope to make them real in the future! I also love reading and window shopping for vinyl records. I am also a wannabe hippie; I love to do yoga and meditate(poorly), and always look forward to lighting a stick of incense as I fryer on my lava lamp at the end of the day.

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Nov 3, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Good healthy and happiness to you all! I am Rhew Na, archivist and recovery specialist. I tend to keep to tombs, ruins, and forgotten settlements to discover what the inhabitants left behind, and see what there is to be gleaned from the rubble. I'll aid this quest however I may.


Favorite game story is a bit of a hard one! The one I enjoyed the most has to be Journey, even though it's a short one. I think Bastion is up there as well, and I like the Witcher 3's adaptation of the story more than the books.


As for doing thing other that work, I read, write, or chat with friends. Reading has to be at the top though, because at least then I'm not judging myself for what I'm putting on the page!

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Sep 12, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hi! I am Ruviane, elven scout. I love to search out new locations and find out why things are there. My preferred weapon is the bow - death from a distance is safer, plus I can then damage the enemy before my party closes in.

My favorite types of games are normally story driven, although I have been adventuring in Valheim recently. I have a nice little base started and am taking my time mapping out the area and gathering resources. I really enjoyed Dragon Age Origins and how every decision was not just black and white, but was shades of grey. I don't get as much time to play as I would like (darned adult world) but I do try. I have also been exploring the Mansions of Madness with some friends when we all have time. For some reason we are luckier than we should be, we have survived and beaten the evil over half of our adventures.

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Sep 6, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hey y'all~ never subbed to a Substack before but I'm excited to see where this goes!

When I ought to be working I'm really reading manga...but I just had an internship with a manga publisher, so I actually got paid to do it! See, mom?! It wasn't all a waste of time!

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Sep 1, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Hey, I'm Maggie. I didn't realize we had this :o

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Aug 24, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Howdy, I'm Madge Swifthooves, magical animal control officer. I'm a carthorse-sized centaur with one white hoof and no time for nonsense. You may have heard of me from such incidents as Apprehending the Aggressive Aboleth, Outwitting the Obstinate Owlbear, and Trapping the Terrifying Tarrasque. I always bring 'em in alive.


Not sure I have just one favorite game story--there are a lot of great game stories, especially recently! But I keep coming back to Thomas Was Alone. That's a really, really special story that I think I will treasure for a long time.


I not-so-secretly love drawing and I'm always trying to get into projects where I get to do more art!

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