Greetings, fellow travelers! I am Inspector Lagoon Gil, arcane detective. I use my magical powers to help the sorcerer's guild with any investigative needs they may have—everything from wayward spirits to missing doomsday talismans. Although I will admit that, especially as of late, my job usually consists of tracking down mages who "forgot" to pay their dues. I am also open to commissions, so if you need something—or someone—found quickly, just hand me a letter of marque and an initial payment. I accept gold, silver, ale, and most manacurrencies*, including Magecoin and Ichoreum.
*(ie, currency that's built on spell-chain ledgers, and thus only circulates in the astral plane)
==
As for my favorite game story, that'd have to be EarthBound (1995, SNES). It so masterfully uses the nature, features, and quirks of video games as a medium to tell its story. A story that only a video game could tell. And one that's changed my life and *still* echoes in my mind over 25 years later. It is perfection.
Chrono Trigger's a close-yet-somewhat-distant second (pun intended), for similar reasons.
As for procrastination, for me, it's either pleasure writing or pleasure gaming (as opposed to work-related writing and gaming... but either way, I'm having fun!).
Ah, that was fun! Anyway, HELLO, new subscribers!!! You're in for a treat! This is *easily* one of my Top 3 favorite newsletters, and always love getting the notification when a new issue's published. The snacks are short, sweet, sharp, and sidesplitting-laughter-inducing. Geoffrey's writing is *hilarious*. Enjoy!
That was such a rad and detailed introduction for Lagoon. Did you just come up with that or is he a D&D character you’ve played before?
You have excellent taste in games. Those are two stone cold classics. It’s almost like you have a terrific newsletter for video game criticism or something!
Thank you! I love detective stories, so I've long had a detective/inspector character ready to go, though I did come up with the arcane/magic angle on the spot. And now I'm getting ideas about an entire campaign involving magical detectives, which would be rad! Alas, I've thus far never played as Lagoon because I'm kind of a forever DM (LOL)—though it would be nice to play him and properly bring him to life someday!
Appreciate your kind words, good sir. Yes, it does seem as though I write a video game newsletter, doesn't it? Perhaps a free, weekly newsletter with the occasional companion podcast. One that your readers would also highly enjoy, if they were ever to check it out and subscribe to (hint hint: click my profile pic! 😉).
Ok, I'll stop plugging this newsletter of mine, which may or may not be hypothetical (but is still totally awesome). 😇
So, I should back up and say I've never played one, but I hear good things about Mythic and Fiasco. Sometimes the games split the GM's responsibilities between all the players, and other times there's a device to emulate the GM, like a deck of cards.
Oooh, that's a cool idea. I will give that some serious thought!
Hiiiiii 👋🏾 I’m a regular snacker and this is a cool thing!
Not sure if it’s my favorite, but online shopping and research rabbit holes are where most of my procrastination time ends up! In a way searching for the perfect ergonomic flashlight and not buying it is a fun lil game too?
Online shopping… yes! I have a few tabs open with things I may or may not buy. And research? I’m looking up the Salem Witch Trails. And author Iain Banks. And codependency. But also gelatin cakes.
Oi! Ain't nothin' ta see 'ere. Just Jack'n Jump with a crag'n kog in the back sticks. Ya need a dooda gipped or an oil down the flu I'm the bob ya need. Ya dun need any o' dat ya might wanna move on before ya get a Duskdale handkerchief, if ya get my glint.
Names? Ain't gunna let ya tag me. Do I look like a jingler or a beller? Ya gotta use a plume hue me as Veevee. Try to hard to find out much else and it'll be the last blink ya ever think.
No being a dullard now, keep ya peeps popped an stay outta my way!
Since I'm particularly awful at being anyone other than myself, I decided to answer the other two questions!
My favorite game story? Pre-pandemic, back when spending time at my desk playing on my computer was a treat, and not something I had to do every day, I loved loved loved Life is Strange. Between solving the mystery and getting to play with time travel, it was just the best. Now though, I'm hugely in to board games, and I'm loving the story on Sleeping Gods. I'm playing with my son, and we're having a great time exploring the world of the Wandering Sea and following all the plotlines there.
When I should be working, I'm happiest spending time researching board games, and absorbing fussy little details about games in order to teach them better to others. I also like taking stretch breaks that involve playing with and cuddling my cats, because they're much more adorable than the attorneys that I work with. :)
It's great to have you in the party, Trin! I loved Life is Strange, and I'm a board game fan myself. I'll have to check out Sleeping Gods – the artwork is gorgeous.
My weird board game research rabbit hole is VCR board games. There's a YouTube channel that has all the videos digitized and I'll watch them when I'm sick or want to laugh at cheesy acting. I'm endlessly fascinating with the space between tabletop games and video games, and the time when toy and board game makers were influenced by the rise of video games.
Life is Strange is so good! It’s such a unique experience. I recently bought the remastered collection(I’ve never played 2, so I’m excited about that). There’s no other game I’ve found that has been able to capture what they did with that first one.
When I’m supposed to be working, I like to tend to my plants or go out on the terrace and bask in the sun. I’ve been called a reptile due to my affinity for warm temperatures. My apartment has been as warm as 82 degrees! I also like to make carpet angels.
My favorite video game memories don’t actually involve me playing them, but advising my brother on strategy. I’ve seen so many Super Mario games and been a proud observer for decades. Snipers need a spotter. Pilots need copilots. Captains need first officers. I’m that.
While I usually go by Chevanne, I often go by Wilhelmina Castigan to my loyal subjects and peers within the Gohan Empire. I love to receive letters and practice necromancy (weather permitting) when not engaged in voracious reading and light criminal mischief. Look forward to meeting like-minded authoritarians. ✌🏾
But seriously, I found an old CYO book from my teens and considered writing a horror story. I quickly realized I was out of my depth. It takes a different kind of creativity to explore possible outcomes and make it fun. Geoffrey is so skilled at his work. Rather than even bother with jealousy, I’m committed to remaining a fan and supporter. Besides his amazing Substack, he is also a genuine and kind person, which fills me with fuzzies. Come for the games, stay for the great community and writer behind it.
I always look forward to your comments, Chevanne. You’re an incredibly thoughtful and talented writer and folks should check out your newsletter, The Flare!
I tend towards hot temperatures, too, especially when it’s cold. I put the heat on in the car in the winter past where most people can stand it.
If you ever do want to jump in on Mario, Mario Galaxy has a great 2-player mode where one player clicks at the screen to gather Star bits. It’s a perfect sorta-playing-while-coaching mode.
Did you just make up Wilhelmina or is she a character you’ve previously explored? There’s a lot of creativity in these comments.
Lord Geoffrey of the Snack has invited me to talk to Table, and since gigs are hard to come by, I've accepted.
What's that, Table, what is my favorite game? Hmmm.... tough question, Table. I enjoy Trivial Pursuit because I've pursued a great deal of trivial knowledge in my day; also, I like collecting pies. On the video game side, Table, I'm a fan of the Sid Meier Civilization games. Full disclosure: I have a mild god complex, but it's common for jesters and, the doctors say, treatable.
What do I enjoy doing when I'm supposed to be working? Great question, Table! The answer is procrastinating. It's my number one activity when I'm supposed to be working. My preferred methods for procrastination are: cooking, scrolling through tiktok, and talking to strangers!
Speaking of which, Table, I look forward to getting to know you as we play Adventure Snack!
"Michael," speaks the Table with deep affection, "I love when you sit at me to pursue thy trivia and traverse thy TikTok feed. As a table, I have four legs to balance, but you are my fifth leg, jester. For without your witty rejoinders and anecdotes, I am merely furniture with no soul. The polish of your good humor giveth me LIFE."
I’ve never been part of a gaming community, just lurking about on rpg boards, watching Twitch playthroughs, or going on YouTube. I’ve always found myself entranced with the idea of it though, like gulping a shot of espresso to boost my day during work slumps. I think these adventurous romps would be perfect for me, and I thank you in advance for coming up with the idea.
Welcome to our gaming community! Glad you found us. As I pointed out in my most recent post, things are gonna be a bit different around here starting next year. There will still be games to play, but not two text adventures per month. Just a heads up!
Forbidden from the lands of his origins, forced to capture the stories of his kind through the slanted light of metaphor, cursed to perpetually speak in the third person, Nue arises from the misty clouds. Owl feather quill dripping with ink, which implies lack of use more so than frequency or proficiency, he scratches his head with his free arm. Eyes furrowing in confusion. His lanky limbs, and rotund core betray some ancient giant linage. Though his inelegant steps seem to imply he is simply an oaf.
--
Game story: The ones that arise from those long campaigns, where there's too much backstory to share with anyone outside of the players. One's that remain as distant memories, until they're retold in full to rapt audiences.
Oh, and i fuck intensely with a good garfield strip.
--
When I'm supposed to be working, I'm usually reading something unrelated to what i'm supposed to be doing, or scrolling around online, or talking with friends about how i'm supposed to be working, and how much of a cool boy i'm being by slacking off. They usually don't reply until later, because they're working.
Welcome to the adventuring party, Nue! Your entrance was dramatic and memorable, and speaking in the third person will ensure your status as a "breakout character" in the party.
Yes, I agree that some of my favorite TTRPG stories I've experienced are like dreams, where they're amazing to experience in the moment and difficult to relay. Speaking of "too much backstory" and Garfield, have you read these strips?
I am Drinkerton the Druid. Tree lover, vegan spellcaster, and master of press-ups in the forest. Too shy to go sky-clad, I wear green robes made out of poison ivy (since it is a reminder that life is pain). I tell stories by the campfire and sometimes smell of elderberry.
--
Game story: often the ones that come out of boardgames with friends. Recently I taught a friend to play The Duke and Coup. It was a themed evening of treachery and subterfuge.
When I am supposed to be working I read books about Linux. I did have a go at turning one of my novellas into a choose-your-own-adventure thingy once, since I grew up with Fighting Fantasy books.
Welcome to the party Drinkerton! We can really use the skills of a vegan spellcaster for Impossible Magic... and Beyond! (Tastes just like Meat Magic.)
I’ll have to look into The Duke and the Coup, and I’ve got your IF game on my queue. Looking forward to playing! I love Fighting Fantasy books, too.
Yep, Drinkerton's imitation meat magic has many spells. He's good at Facon his appearance with cantrips, and he can Soy into the future with his big crystal balls.
Hey, I'm Patricia and I may be obsessed with ghosts, cryptids, and serial killers. Those 3 fit, right? 😉 I'm not sure I have a favorite game story but I've definitely lost a few hundred hours to Zelda: BotW and Stardew Valley so there's a chill factor.
Naps are great procrastination tasks IMO. I can't say knitting because I sell what I make so that might be considered working. (I made the hat my profile pic and my most recent creation is a small hammerhead shark that fits in your palm.)
Welcome, Patricia! Those are wild obsessions. Immediately I thought of a murderous Bigfoot ghost and got scared!
Your hat is AWESOME. Wow! My feeling is that you can call it a hobby for as long as it’s fun, even if you’re making money at it. Once you have, like, a business plan and you depend on the money to live, you start crossing over into career territory.
And yeah, naps rule. I never used to be able to nap, but I think I’m able to now that I’m older?
I don't know who I am, but I'm sure I'm a level 1, so please do not attack. Please. Do not. Attack.
These days my favorite game story is Red Dead Redemption 2, which I didn't play until three years after it came out, because I'm out of the loop when it comes to video games. I'd have to say KOTOR is a close second, and if you'd asked me a few years ago that would've been my answer. There's something about the force user arcs of the 2000s that I really loved, across all media.
I haven't read much when it comes to table top games. Maybe a couple of RA Salvatore's books, but I didn't keep going. Nothing against his writing or the stories, I was just struggling with time management in those days.
Speaking of time management... When I'm supposed to be working, but I am in fact not working, I am probably doom scrolling on one social or another. Do I actually enjoy that? No, not at all. I'm just drawn to it, like a June Bug to a camp fire.
Anyway, I'm just curious how this all works, so I'm here to find out. Looks like fun.
Welcome to the party, Brett! We promise we will. not. attack. You can stay in the back of the party for the first couple dragon cave plunderings, until you get the hang of it. ^_^
Adventure Snack is really simple. Emails contain the beginning of a quest. Click the button and you'll continue the quest. For example, in the new game Level Up Your Wizard (https://adventuresnack.substack.com/p/level-up-your-wizard), click the "I Will Level Up My Wizard!" button to play. Let me know how you do.
I hear nothing but good things about Red Dead Redemption 2 – not just the expansive, touching story, but the vastness of the world and the ability to do anything inside it.
We're all held captive by the siren song of social media. I've cut down considerably, but I keep getting drawn back in.
Level 5. I will not be using that spatula, because I'll never get the taste out of my mouth. However, I'll suffer a little essence of monster vomit for a nice waistcoat.
Greetings, all. My name is Seril, but you may know me better as the goddess of the land. I created magic and now watch over the humans of my continent. It is humbling to meet people outside of my realm.
---
Hi! I go by the pseudonym of Myinc, although Seril was my second choice.
My favourite video game story is between Xenoblade Chronicles or Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I'm a fan of JRPGs. The Fire Emblem series is solid in terms of story overall (although the latest installment, Fire Emblem: Engage, is... well, not like the others, in the best way I can put it). As for the Xenoblade Chronicles series, I only like the first game and find the others to be lacking in storytelling.
While I'm supposed to be working, I sometimes have a random thought, leading me to search it up, then going on Wikipedia, and then getting caught down a rabbit hole. It's a very absorbing way for me to get distracted!
I just remembered another game I'd like to shoutout for having one of my favourite stories! The Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy and the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles are phenomenal as well, especially if you're into mystery.
Greetings, Seril! How very fortunate of us to have the power of a goddess on our side. We'll be sure to sacrifice something lovely for you.
Nice to meet you, Myinc! I love the Ace Attorney games, too. The mysteries are fun and I love how the witnesses break down in the courtroom. You'll hear no "Objection!" from me on that choice.
Wikipedia rabbit holes are the greatest time waster. There's so much weird and wild knowledge on Wikipedia. It's easy to get lost in it.
Greetings, subjects! I am your King Atarius, the 2600th. Please enjoy the wood paneling of my steed's saddleskirt as well as the firmness of my joystick.
My favorite game story is one created for my coronation, in truth, by noble gamesmith Warren Robinett. He called it "Adventure" and he based it upon my own legendary adventure to find our kingdom's lost chalice and return it to the Golden Castle. I slayed dragons, ducked bats, got lost in catacombs... it was a whole thing. But I loved every moment of it. Sir Robinett did a wonderous job reproducing the excitement in his game.
When I'm not galloping over the Pitfalls of my 8-bit kingdom ducking Asteroids and engaging in ceremonial Combat, I like to read comics and write comedy specs.
Ah, your exploits are known far and wide, King Atarius! In addition to your beast slaying and treasure discovering, you honored the noble festival of Easter by hiding the first ever "easter egg" in those catacombs. Bravo! Hail!
Hi, I’m Niall, I am a (rolls dice) a cleric who (rolls dice) writes speculative fiction, and other things for fun. So far, I have been (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) successful but I’m just starting out really in my old age.
Games: mmm, my son recently got his dream job at a gaming printer and publisher in England. He will have time to develop his own ideas. I attended a games night of his once: I was a fat, balding cleric. In the first room, I opened a sack of mouldy flour, rolled a D20 for a fortitude check, scored 1 and died. 2 was the threshold. Please stop by my stack, I keep rolling 3s here.
Welcome to the party, Niall! How thrilling to have such a skilled cleric and dice roller in our adventuring group.
I think it's awesome your son's in the TTRPG business and that you're bonding with him through D&D! Though I'm sorry your character died from flour, that is maybe one of the funniest deaths I've heard of. That beats my dad, who still doesn't know what D&D is, even though I've explained it to him multiple times. 😅
Well met, is this the new round table? I was just in that big shiny room around the corner--the one with a big round table and burly metal-clad folks all sitting round roughhousing and quipping? Seemed like I was in the right place, but they told me to go down the hall and turn left and find the “new” round table?
Me? I’ve got this Deadblow Hammer of Wry Wit I inherited from my uncle and I seem to have a rare gift that repels strangers that could come in useful--see it’s working already!
My questing experience includes Thirteen Dead End Drive (I have a knack for falling off bookcases and landing in the room where all the murdering happened) and I’m a dab hand at dying in the Last of Us.
Oh? What have people paid me for in the past? Well, it’s a bit unconventional. I port to a parallel universe where the predominant sentient species is obsessed with rocketing themselves off their planet onto others-- I sell them magical equipment that emulates their home planet’s cuddly statistics like temperature and pressure so they can go exploring. After I log off, I lift the hammer to keep the biceps rippin’ and take my glutes and hammies for a ride on something I bought from that parallel universe--it’s called a Peloton and with it you get to compete against those planet-seeking aliens while one of them yells or laughs or cries at you. All good fun. In the evening times I brew a bucket of tea and hammer out some stories.
Well, I do feel I’ve prattled on a bit. And I came all this way. Any chance I can steal some of that Chex mix?
Welcome, adventurer Rachel! I'll cut to the chase. There's no need to steal our Chex Mix. We are more than happy to share. The old round table had a "no snacks" policy, but our new round table has a "snacks first" policy. We rescue no damsels without imbibing at least one pizza bagel per quest.
Your Deadblow Hammer of Wry Wit is the stuff of legends! I've heard tell of a hammer so powerful, so merciless, it crushes the ego of all who dare to comment on its unusually-shaped handle. I am in awe.
Wow, that's quite the occupation. It sounds far more complex than the villagers in the town we're currently resting in between quests. I'm pretty sure if you told Mort the Sick Bucket Washer what you do for pay, his head would explode. You must be quite a learned wizard, especially if you also know how to read *and* write. (In THIS economy?)
Looking forward to going on missions with you throughout the year!
Hullo. Green here. Just an anthropomorphic mushroom backpacking its way through the dense jungles of life. Nothing much to see. On a permanent quest to fight against its own sedentary mind and vilifying laziness. In its stomach frequently are the corpses of various books and ideas floating in a sea of putrid acid. Someday it will deign to spit out something of use and value of its own.
Likes imagination and investigating the mental landscapes of other people. Has an insatiable appetite and overzealous enthusiasim for things that scare other people. Making confused noises all the time.
/
What do I enjoy when I'm supposed to be working?
Well, anything but working, of course. Reading about this or that, writing, spiraling into a self-philosophizing session with the mind, learning about the belfries and spires of Venetian churches and bell towers (of all things), (making grievous attempts to) sing along with Italian hip hop songs ... and the likes.
Welcome to the party, Green! We could use an acidic devourer of knowledge. Your mushroominess will save our skin time when we encounter another evil anthropomorphic book! (Happens all the time.)
You sound like a deep and knowledgeable adventurer with fine taste. It’s wonderful to have you with us!
Greetings, fellow travelers! I am Inspector Lagoon Gil, arcane detective. I use my magical powers to help the sorcerer's guild with any investigative needs they may have—everything from wayward spirits to missing doomsday talismans. Although I will admit that, especially as of late, my job usually consists of tracking down mages who "forgot" to pay their dues. I am also open to commissions, so if you need something—or someone—found quickly, just hand me a letter of marque and an initial payment. I accept gold, silver, ale, and most manacurrencies*, including Magecoin and Ichoreum.
*(ie, currency that's built on spell-chain ledgers, and thus only circulates in the astral plane)
==
As for my favorite game story, that'd have to be EarthBound (1995, SNES). It so masterfully uses the nature, features, and quirks of video games as a medium to tell its story. A story that only a video game could tell. And one that's changed my life and *still* echoes in my mind over 25 years later. It is perfection.
Chrono Trigger's a close-yet-somewhat-distant second (pun intended), for similar reasons.
As for procrastination, for me, it's either pleasure writing or pleasure gaming (as opposed to work-related writing and gaming... but either way, I'm having fun!).
Ah, that was fun! Anyway, HELLO, new subscribers!!! You're in for a treat! This is *easily* one of my Top 3 favorite newsletters, and always love getting the notification when a new issue's published. The snacks are short, sweet, sharp, and sidesplitting-laughter-inducing. Geoffrey's writing is *hilarious*. Enjoy!
That was such a rad and detailed introduction for Lagoon. Did you just come up with that or is he a D&D character you’ve played before?
You have excellent taste in games. Those are two stone cold classics. It’s almost like you have a terrific newsletter for video game criticism or something!
Thank you! I love detective stories, so I've long had a detective/inspector character ready to go, though I did come up with the arcane/magic angle on the spot. And now I'm getting ideas about an entire campaign involving magical detectives, which would be rad! Alas, I've thus far never played as Lagoon because I'm kind of a forever DM (LOL)—though it would be nice to play him and properly bring him to life someday!
Appreciate your kind words, good sir. Yes, it does seem as though I write a video game newsletter, doesn't it? Perhaps a free, weekly newsletter with the occasional companion podcast. One that your readers would also highly enjoy, if they were ever to check it out and subscribe to (hint hint: click my profile pic! 😉).
Ok, I'll stop plugging this newsletter of mine, which may or may not be hypothetical (but is still totally awesome). 😇
There are some great DM-less systems out there, if you want to join the player side and bust out that magical detective.
I’ve heard about them, and am very curious as to how they work. Any in particular you’d recommend I check out?
Also... could an Adventure Snack D&D group be a future possibility? 🤔💡
So, I should back up and say I've never played one, but I hear good things about Mythic and Fiasco. Sometimes the games split the GM's responsibilities between all the players, and other times there's a device to emulate the GM, like a deck of cards.
Oooh, that's a cool idea. I will give that some serious thought!
Hiiiiii 👋🏾 I’m a regular snacker and this is a cool thing!
Not sure if it’s my favorite, but online shopping and research rabbit holes are where most of my procrastination time ends up! In a way searching for the perfect ergonomic flashlight and not buying it is a fun lil game too?
Online shopping… yes! I have a few tabs open with things I may or may not buy. And research? I’m looking up the Salem Witch Trails. And author Iain Banks. And codependency. But also gelatin cakes.
Gelatin Witchcraft? Coooool.
Imagine the colors... 🥰
Hi Mando!
Now, I know who I'm asking if I need an ergonomic flashlight.
Mando, you've been adventuring since the very beginning. You are truly The First Warrior!
Yeah, it is! Online window shopping also has a fun mini-game: turn all the banner ads you see for the next few months into ergonomic flashlights.
Oi! Ain't nothin' ta see 'ere. Just Jack'n Jump with a crag'n kog in the back sticks. Ya need a dooda gipped or an oil down the flu I'm the bob ya need. Ya dun need any o' dat ya might wanna move on before ya get a Duskdale handkerchief, if ya get my glint.
Names? Ain't gunna let ya tag me. Do I look like a jingler or a beller? Ya gotta use a plume hue me as Veevee. Try to hard to find out much else and it'll be the last blink ya ever think.
No being a dullard now, keep ya peeps popped an stay outta my way!
Every adventuring party needs a Veevee: a hired tough guy with a big attitude, and maybe, just maybe, a big heart to match.
Welcome to the party! I’ll try to keep my peeps popped regularly, but no promises.
See ya do, ya topkin. Check ya back for stabbers. Dappers 'n johns both like ta stick steel between the shoulders o' gilder capes like yaself.
Since I'm particularly awful at being anyone other than myself, I decided to answer the other two questions!
My favorite game story? Pre-pandemic, back when spending time at my desk playing on my computer was a treat, and not something I had to do every day, I loved loved loved Life is Strange. Between solving the mystery and getting to play with time travel, it was just the best. Now though, I'm hugely in to board games, and I'm loving the story on Sleeping Gods. I'm playing with my son, and we're having a great time exploring the world of the Wandering Sea and following all the plotlines there.
When I should be working, I'm happiest spending time researching board games, and absorbing fussy little details about games in order to teach them better to others. I also like taking stretch breaks that involve playing with and cuddling my cats, because they're much more adorable than the attorneys that I work with. :)
It's great to have you in the party, Trin! I loved Life is Strange, and I'm a board game fan myself. I'll have to check out Sleeping Gods – the artwork is gorgeous.
My weird board game research rabbit hole is VCR board games. There's a YouTube channel that has all the videos digitized and I'll watch them when I'm sick or want to laugh at cheesy acting. I'm endlessly fascinating with the space between tabletop games and video games, and the time when toy and board game makers were influenced by the rise of video games.
Life is Strange is so good! It’s such a unique experience. I recently bought the remastered collection(I’ve never played 2, so I’m excited about that). There’s no other game I’ve found that has been able to capture what they did with that first one.
Hello! 👋🏾
When I’m supposed to be working, I like to tend to my plants or go out on the terrace and bask in the sun. I’ve been called a reptile due to my affinity for warm temperatures. My apartment has been as warm as 82 degrees! I also like to make carpet angels.
My favorite video game memories don’t actually involve me playing them, but advising my brother on strategy. I’ve seen so many Super Mario games and been a proud observer for decades. Snipers need a spotter. Pilots need copilots. Captains need first officers. I’m that.
While I usually go by Chevanne, I often go by Wilhelmina Castigan to my loyal subjects and peers within the Gohan Empire. I love to receive letters and practice necromancy (weather permitting) when not engaged in voracious reading and light criminal mischief. Look forward to meeting like-minded authoritarians. ✌🏾
But seriously, I found an old CYO book from my teens and considered writing a horror story. I quickly realized I was out of my depth. It takes a different kind of creativity to explore possible outcomes and make it fun. Geoffrey is so skilled at his work. Rather than even bother with jealousy, I’m committed to remaining a fan and supporter. Besides his amazing Substack, he is also a genuine and kind person, which fills me with fuzzies. Come for the games, stay for the great community and writer behind it.
Welcome snackers!
I always look forward to your comments, Chevanne. You’re an incredibly thoughtful and talented writer and folks should check out your newsletter, The Flare!
I tend towards hot temperatures, too, especially when it’s cold. I put the heat on in the car in the winter past where most people can stand it.
If you ever do want to jump in on Mario, Mario Galaxy has a great 2-player mode where one player clicks at the screen to gather Star bits. It’s a perfect sorta-playing-while-coaching mode.
Did you just make up Wilhelmina or is she a character you’ve previously explored? There’s a lot of creativity in these comments.
🥰 You’re the best.
Heated seats in the car until June... I really should move out of this state and find the perfect temperature. It’s downhill after Halloween here.
I have played that and been the star catcher! Now my son is playing Mario and will not accept my advisory role, unfortunately.
Wilhelmina materialized out of thin air. I really should try more comedy or satire.
I’m all for you moving to LA for the weather and trying your hand at more comedy!
Greetings snack-sized adventurers!
I am Michael, jester of Situation Normal.
Lord Geoffrey of the Snack has invited me to talk to Table, and since gigs are hard to come by, I've accepted.
What's that, Table, what is my favorite game? Hmmm.... tough question, Table. I enjoy Trivial Pursuit because I've pursued a great deal of trivial knowledge in my day; also, I like collecting pies. On the video game side, Table, I'm a fan of the Sid Meier Civilization games. Full disclosure: I have a mild god complex, but it's common for jesters and, the doctors say, treatable.
What do I enjoy doing when I'm supposed to be working? Great question, Table! The answer is procrastinating. It's my number one activity when I'm supposed to be working. My preferred methods for procrastination are: cooking, scrolling through tiktok, and talking to strangers!
Speaking of which, Table, I look forward to getting to know you as we play Adventure Snack!
"Michael," speaks the Table with deep affection, "I love when you sit at me to pursue thy trivia and traverse thy TikTok feed. As a table, I have four legs to balance, but you are my fifth leg, jester. For without your witty rejoinders and anecdotes, I am merely furniture with no soul. The polish of your good humor giveth me LIFE."
I’ve never been part of a gaming community, just lurking about on rpg boards, watching Twitch playthroughs, or going on YouTube. I’ve always found myself entranced with the idea of it though, like gulping a shot of espresso to boost my day during work slumps. I think these adventurous romps would be perfect for me, and I thank you in advance for coming up with the idea.
Welcome to our gaming community! Glad you found us. As I pointed out in my most recent post, things are gonna be a bit different around here starting next year. There will still be games to play, but not two text adventures per month. Just a heads up!
https://adventuresnack.substack.com/p/adventure-snack-is-evolving-like
Forbidden from the lands of his origins, forced to capture the stories of his kind through the slanted light of metaphor, cursed to perpetually speak in the third person, Nue arises from the misty clouds. Owl feather quill dripping with ink, which implies lack of use more so than frequency or proficiency, he scratches his head with his free arm. Eyes furrowing in confusion. His lanky limbs, and rotund core betray some ancient giant linage. Though his inelegant steps seem to imply he is simply an oaf.
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Game story: The ones that arise from those long campaigns, where there's too much backstory to share with anyone outside of the players. One's that remain as distant memories, until they're retold in full to rapt audiences.
Oh, and i fuck intensely with a good garfield strip.
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When I'm supposed to be working, I'm usually reading something unrelated to what i'm supposed to be doing, or scrolling around online, or talking with friends about how i'm supposed to be working, and how much of a cool boy i'm being by slacking off. They usually don't reply until later, because they're working.
Welcome to the adventuring party, Nue! Your entrance was dramatic and memorable, and speaking in the third person will ensure your status as a "breakout character" in the party.
Yes, I agree that some of my favorite TTRPG stories I've experienced are like dreams, where they're amazing to experience in the moment and difficult to relay. Speaking of "too much backstory" and Garfield, have you read these strips?
https://www.gocomics.com/comics/lists/1720856/garfield-loneliness-denial-weird-storyline-1989?page=2
I am Drinkerton the Druid. Tree lover, vegan spellcaster, and master of press-ups in the forest. Too shy to go sky-clad, I wear green robes made out of poison ivy (since it is a reminder that life is pain). I tell stories by the campfire and sometimes smell of elderberry.
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Game story: often the ones that come out of boardgames with friends. Recently I taught a friend to play The Duke and Coup. It was a themed evening of treachery and subterfuge.
When I am supposed to be working I read books about Linux. I did have a go at turning one of my novellas into a choose-your-own-adventure thingy once, since I grew up with Fighting Fantasy books.
I wrote about it (and there's a link to a playable version) at https://karldrinkwater.blogspot.com/2016/11/interactive-horror-teenage-imaginations.html
Welcome to the party Drinkerton! We can really use the skills of a vegan spellcaster for Impossible Magic... and Beyond! (Tastes just like Meat Magic.)
I’ll have to look into The Duke and the Coup, and I’ve got your IF game on my queue. Looking forward to playing! I love Fighting Fantasy books, too.
Yep, Drinkerton's imitation meat magic has many spells. He's good at Facon his appearance with cantrips, and he can Soy into the future with his big crystal balls.
Hey, I'm Patricia and I may be obsessed with ghosts, cryptids, and serial killers. Those 3 fit, right? 😉 I'm not sure I have a favorite game story but I've definitely lost a few hundred hours to Zelda: BotW and Stardew Valley so there's a chill factor.
Naps are great procrastination tasks IMO. I can't say knitting because I sell what I make so that might be considered working. (I made the hat my profile pic and my most recent creation is a small hammerhead shark that fits in your palm.)
Welcome, Patricia! Those are wild obsessions. Immediately I thought of a murderous Bigfoot ghost and got scared!
Your hat is AWESOME. Wow! My feeling is that you can call it a hobby for as long as it’s fun, even if you’re making money at it. Once you have, like, a business plan and you depend on the money to live, you start crossing over into career territory.
And yeah, naps rule. I never used to be able to nap, but I think I’m able to now that I’m older?
I'm making a note of a serial killer Bigfoot ghost for at least a flash fiction story now. LOL
If you write it, please share it!
I will!
I don't know who I am, but I'm sure I'm a level 1, so please do not attack. Please. Do not. Attack.
These days my favorite game story is Red Dead Redemption 2, which I didn't play until three years after it came out, because I'm out of the loop when it comes to video games. I'd have to say KOTOR is a close second, and if you'd asked me a few years ago that would've been my answer. There's something about the force user arcs of the 2000s that I really loved, across all media.
I haven't read much when it comes to table top games. Maybe a couple of RA Salvatore's books, but I didn't keep going. Nothing against his writing or the stories, I was just struggling with time management in those days.
Speaking of time management... When I'm supposed to be working, but I am in fact not working, I am probably doom scrolling on one social or another. Do I actually enjoy that? No, not at all. I'm just drawn to it, like a June Bug to a camp fire.
Anyway, I'm just curious how this all works, so I'm here to find out. Looks like fun.
Welcome to the party, Brett! We promise we will. not. attack. You can stay in the back of the party for the first couple dragon cave plunderings, until you get the hang of it. ^_^
Adventure Snack is really simple. Emails contain the beginning of a quest. Click the button and you'll continue the quest. For example, in the new game Level Up Your Wizard (https://adventuresnack.substack.com/p/level-up-your-wizard), click the "I Will Level Up My Wizard!" button to play. Let me know how you do.
I hear nothing but good things about Red Dead Redemption 2 – not just the expansive, touching story, but the vastness of the world and the ability to do anything inside it.
We're all held captive by the siren song of social media. I've cut down considerably, but I keep getting drawn back in.
Level 5. I will not be using that spatula, because I'll never get the taste out of my mouth. However, I'll suffer a little essence of monster vomit for a nice waistcoat.
I mean, what waistcoat doesn’t smell a little like vomit?
Greetings, all. My name is Seril, but you may know me better as the goddess of the land. I created magic and now watch over the humans of my continent. It is humbling to meet people outside of my realm.
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Hi! I go by the pseudonym of Myinc, although Seril was my second choice.
My favourite video game story is between Xenoblade Chronicles or Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I'm a fan of JRPGs. The Fire Emblem series is solid in terms of story overall (although the latest installment, Fire Emblem: Engage, is... well, not like the others, in the best way I can put it). As for the Xenoblade Chronicles series, I only like the first game and find the others to be lacking in storytelling.
While I'm supposed to be working, I sometimes have a random thought, leading me to search it up, then going on Wikipedia, and then getting caught down a rabbit hole. It's a very absorbing way for me to get distracted!
I just remembered another game I'd like to shoutout for having one of my favourite stories! The Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy and the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles are phenomenal as well, especially if you're into mystery.
Greetings, Seril! How very fortunate of us to have the power of a goddess on our side. We'll be sure to sacrifice something lovely for you.
Nice to meet you, Myinc! I love the Ace Attorney games, too. The mysteries are fun and I love how the witnesses break down in the courtroom. You'll hear no "Objection!" from me on that choice.
Wikipedia rabbit holes are the greatest time waster. There's so much weird and wild knowledge on Wikipedia. It's easy to get lost in it.
Greetings, subjects! I am your King Atarius, the 2600th. Please enjoy the wood paneling of my steed's saddleskirt as well as the firmness of my joystick.
My favorite game story is one created for my coronation, in truth, by noble gamesmith Warren Robinett. He called it "Adventure" and he based it upon my own legendary adventure to find our kingdom's lost chalice and return it to the Golden Castle. I slayed dragons, ducked bats, got lost in catacombs... it was a whole thing. But I loved every moment of it. Sir Robinett did a wonderous job reproducing the excitement in his game.
When I'm not galloping over the Pitfalls of my 8-bit kingdom ducking Asteroids and engaging in ceremonial Combat, I like to read comics and write comedy specs.
Welcome to the party, my liege! *Deep Bow*
Ah, your exploits are known far and wide, King Atarius! In addition to your beast slaying and treasure discovering, you honored the noble festival of Easter by hiding the first ever "easter egg" in those catacombs. Bravo! Hail!
Hi, I’m Niall, I am a (rolls dice) a cleric who (rolls dice) writes speculative fiction, and other things for fun. So far, I have been (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) (rolls dice) successful but I’m just starting out really in my old age.
Games: mmm, my son recently got his dream job at a gaming printer and publisher in England. He will have time to develop his own ideas. I attended a games night of his once: I was a fat, balding cleric. In the first room, I opened a sack of mouldy flour, rolled a D20 for a fortitude check, scored 1 and died. 2 was the threshold. Please stop by my stack, I keep rolling 3s here.
Welcome to the party, Niall! How thrilling to have such a skilled cleric and dice roller in our adventuring group.
I think it's awesome your son's in the TTRPG business and that you're bonding with him through D&D! Though I'm sorry your character died from flour, that is maybe one of the funniest deaths I've heard of. That beats my dad, who still doesn't know what D&D is, even though I've explained it to him multiple times. 😅
Well met, is this the new round table? I was just in that big shiny room around the corner--the one with a big round table and burly metal-clad folks all sitting round roughhousing and quipping? Seemed like I was in the right place, but they told me to go down the hall and turn left and find the “new” round table?
Me? I’ve got this Deadblow Hammer of Wry Wit I inherited from my uncle and I seem to have a rare gift that repels strangers that could come in useful--see it’s working already!
My questing experience includes Thirteen Dead End Drive (I have a knack for falling off bookcases and landing in the room where all the murdering happened) and I’m a dab hand at dying in the Last of Us.
Oh? What have people paid me for in the past? Well, it’s a bit unconventional. I port to a parallel universe where the predominant sentient species is obsessed with rocketing themselves off their planet onto others-- I sell them magical equipment that emulates their home planet’s cuddly statistics like temperature and pressure so they can go exploring. After I log off, I lift the hammer to keep the biceps rippin’ and take my glutes and hammies for a ride on something I bought from that parallel universe--it’s called a Peloton and with it you get to compete against those planet-seeking aliens while one of them yells or laughs or cries at you. All good fun. In the evening times I brew a bucket of tea and hammer out some stories.
Well, I do feel I’ve prattled on a bit. And I came all this way. Any chance I can steal some of that Chex mix?
Welcome, adventurer Rachel! I'll cut to the chase. There's no need to steal our Chex Mix. We are more than happy to share. The old round table had a "no snacks" policy, but our new round table has a "snacks first" policy. We rescue no damsels without imbibing at least one pizza bagel per quest.
Your Deadblow Hammer of Wry Wit is the stuff of legends! I've heard tell of a hammer so powerful, so merciless, it crushes the ego of all who dare to comment on its unusually-shaped handle. I am in awe.
Wow, that's quite the occupation. It sounds far more complex than the villagers in the town we're currently resting in between quests. I'm pretty sure if you told Mort the Sick Bucket Washer what you do for pay, his head would explode. You must be quite a learned wizard, especially if you also know how to read *and* write. (In THIS economy?)
Looking forward to going on missions with you throughout the year!
OOC: I really hope Mort the Sick Bucket Washer is a real dude and his efforts would not be superfluous in space.
Also I absolutely died laughing at “unusually -shaped handle.
Looking forward to the first quest!
Hullo. Green here. Just an anthropomorphic mushroom backpacking its way through the dense jungles of life. Nothing much to see. On a permanent quest to fight against its own sedentary mind and vilifying laziness. In its stomach frequently are the corpses of various books and ideas floating in a sea of putrid acid. Someday it will deign to spit out something of use and value of its own.
Likes imagination and investigating the mental landscapes of other people. Has an insatiable appetite and overzealous enthusiasim for things that scare other people. Making confused noises all the time.
/
What do I enjoy when I'm supposed to be working?
Well, anything but working, of course. Reading about this or that, writing, spiraling into a self-philosophizing session with the mind, learning about the belfries and spires of Venetian churches and bell towers (of all things), (making grievous attempts to) sing along with Italian hip hop songs ... and the likes.
It's really nice to be here!
Welcome to the party, Green! We could use an acidic devourer of knowledge. Your mushroominess will save our skin time when we encounter another evil anthropomorphic book! (Happens all the time.)
You sound like a deep and knowledgeable adventurer with fine taste. It’s wonderful to have you with us!