Steal My Sunshard

You are a thief. Get rich by defrauding a wizard!

Adventurers, I want to take a moment to sincerely thank you for playing these games. It means a lot to me. Whether you’re playing during work hours in your new home office, or while waiting for a virtual D&D game to start, or on your phone taking a much deserved mid-day nap, I hope this finds you healthy and safe.

However, the Kingdom of Moredank – sister land to the Kingdom of Dankmore – is anything but safe. In fact, it’s unsafe! For you!


You are the cleverest thief in the wealthy Kingdom of Dankmore. You’ve stolen a small fortune in gold coins, legendary swords, and dwarven beard wigs. You’ve never once been thrown in jail. Typically, you’re pushed or dragged into jail.

The smell of hot bubbling cider and freezing cold churros wafts through the air as you enter Wands, an upscale wizard bar. The walls are decorated with sun-faded, whimsical line art caricatures of wizard actors like Spelley Duvall and Macaulay Cauldron.

You sit down at a small marble table. Across from you is Omarious, a red mage with a long, fiery black beard. You’re reasonably sure it’s a dwarf wig, since the tag is visible. The fireball casting wizard reveals to you a warm, glowing white rock called a sunshard. It’s a rare and expensive ingredient for ancient potions, plus you can cook a hot dog on it in 2 minutes. 

As agreed upon earlier, you present Omarious with a girthy rainbow crystal, known in elite circles as the Girthy Crystal of Rainbows. Only this is a Girthy Crystal of Forgery, which you amorally and uncordially stole from the crystalsmith Marjorie. (I hope slant rhymes don’t make you ornery.)

As you swap the prism for the sunshard, Marjorie enters the bar. She’s tall, muscular, and steel-eyed. Her hands burst into angry flames. You slouch down, but she notices you and is headed your way – fast. It will take her about a minute to cross the bar.

What will you do?

If you’d like to harness the power of the sunshard, look out your window.

BONUS: If you wear a face mask when you go outside, or would if you weren’t under quarantine, you can harness the sunshard even if it’s dark or cloudy out. Yay masks!