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For me, the act of watching The Batman was less fun than watching Multiverse of Madness. The Batman felt overly long. Not in a boring way, but in an "Oh god, I thought it was over..." kind of way. If The Batman was a mini-series on HBO Max, I would've enjoyed it a lot more. But also, I grew up on Marvel comics, and X-Men specifically, so those characters do more for me on a pure nostalgia / emotional heart-tug level. Plus, right now I'm very into bonkers b-movies, and that's the vibe of the second half of Dr. Strange 2. So yeah, I'll give it to the MCU, but with all due respect to The Bat.

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Maybe one day I’ll talk about my stint watching bad movies. Netflix used to have recommendations and when they guessed one star, that was the movie of the night. What a great time that was. Now I watch things like CHUD and Llamageddon.

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May 19, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I wanted the ogre to rebrand and I'm really excited to get my cut of the dildogre's sales!!!!

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There's no better way to earn a living than receiving royalties off a sex toy!

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Eeek, time to check my privilege. Recommending the ogre to become a villain really highlighted an inherent bias that I will need to reflect on.

My career in life coaching feels superfluous now, how am I to coach others’ lives... if I can’t coach my own?

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For sure my own worse enemy would be myself, if you can’t handle that trope that’s your problem. One of his powers is not being discerning enough about avoiding cliches.

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You’re gonna do the work and get past your anti-ogre bias. I believe in you!

When you say you’re fighting yourself, I’m imagining a Gemini Man situation.

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Yes, it’s me fighting a young Will Smith in high frame rate.

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I told the ogre to stop crying and clean up his room (in much nicer terms). I have to admit, we ended up having a pretty lighthearted chat.

As a result of our conversation, I’m happy to report that our ogre pal is now a fitness instructor, a vegan, and he even hosts a podcast titled “Get Ogre It.” He had me on the other day and we talked about Lord of the Rings. Apparently he has a huge crush on Arwen. I told him he’d have to fight past a king to have her (get ogre it, essentially), and he laughed so hard he spat out his avocado mid-bite...it got all over his equipment.

I’m glad to know he is in a much happier state! 🤣

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Wow, you helped the Ogre so much, you're now a "Friend of the Pod." As far as I'm concerned, that's an even higher honor than being on the Council of Elrond.

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May 19, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

I told the ogre to become a villain, mostly because I thought it'd be funny. Boy howdy, did I learn my lesson! A true learning experience. I will never mess up like that again, no siree! (Please don't cancel me, Ogre Twitter!)

If I was a superhero, my arch-nemesis would be the nefarious Dr. Insomnio—with the power to induce anxious states in people who otherwise would be getting much-needed rest—and his sniveling sidekick. Early Bird, the brains behind the genius idea that workdays should start at dawn, just to torment night owls like me.

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Do you think Adventure Snack is a GAME, Jay? When you make a choice in Adventure Snack, it affects the lives of real superheroes I made up two weeks ago!

Though I've never run "afoul" of Early Bird, I've been battling Dr. Insomnio for about two years now. We should rent a laser cannon and blow them both up.

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This is exactly why I didn't mess with villain!

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May 19, 2022Liked by Geoffrey Golden

Oh no... they've found me... I don't know how, but they've found me. HAVE MERCY ON ME, Ogre Twitter Mob!!!

[*many months later*]

Phew! I finally escaped from the Ogre Gulag. I can't hang for long, but I did want to say one thing: your bird pun is simply a "hoot"! 😅

Ok, gotta go, bye! *puts on gag disguise glasses, pops trench coat collar, disappears into dark alley*

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👏 👏 👏

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I can’t believe I’ve seen more than 10 Marvel movies. I really need to diversify…

But yes, I was definitely up for a rebrand. I know he was down and out about his lack of uhh.. penetration into the other groups but now he’s got his own crevice to explore. I’m happy for him, I mean, he really should clean his room and put ye olde Hulk Smashing behind him, but baby steps.

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Diversify meaning… movies… without superheroes? Do those even exist?!

Haha, sounds like you helped him get on a good, sexy path. Proud of you!

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i advised him to go solo (it's what i would have done ;-) and things seem to have turned around for the big lug... i even got a shout out on his podcast, Get Ogre It! haven't seen the films, but my arch nemesis would be 'the numerator' or really anything to do with numbers or math. give me something to calculate and my head will explode :-O

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Oh, I hate The Numerator! He was attacked when I was at a group dinner and we had to spend hours calculating the check. It was a nightmare…

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I was tempted to send him down a dark, villainous path, but then I realized I'm not a god, I'm a superhero life coach, which means I have no business messing with villain shit. Anyway, I heard a lot of negativity, self-criticism, and defeatism, so I suggested that he work on his self-esteem. Well, I should've checked my rate card before giving that advice, because I haven't seen nearly enough Marvel movies to command those kinds of fees. Still, I'm happy things worked out for The Mighty Ogre, and I especially enjoyed the hors d'oeuvres at his house-warming party. I didn't think bacon wrapped Lucky Charms would work, but THEY DID!

As for the arch enemy to my super hero identity, it's more like ENEMIES, as in The Printer Jam Band. Those guys are always causing paper jams and office drama, but not I my watch!

Sadly, I haven't seen The Batman or Dr. Strange 2. I've been too busy playing Adventure Snack!

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When it comes down to it, this work is about scoring free food, and it looks like you hit the jackpot with those bacon charms. That’s like the perfect food circa 2008.

Yes! I had a run-in with The Printer Jam Band, when I tried to print on heavier stock that HP promised would work. Glad you have them under control. They kicked my buuuuuuutt!

Re: Batman vs Dr. Strange - Right answer!

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Heavy stock paper is their weapon of choice. You have to be willing to use nukes, by which I mean Kinkos. Sure, they’re pricy, but they get the job done.

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