The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Murder Room

Can you find a killer on the rum?

Aloha, adventurers! This game is a little different than most, so feel free to take a swig of coconut rum for courage. Time to dust off those Ultra Lounge CDs from college – to solve a murder! Remember, new games gently wash up onto inboxes twice a month, so be sure to subscribe…


Instructions:

Throughout the game you’ll find linked clues. They’ll help you solve the mystery!

Click up to 3 clues. Choose wisely.

BONUS: Forward this game to a friend. You may click up to 5 clues. (And thanks for helping us find new players!)

* * * *

You pull the bamboo handle on the door of Tiki Steve’s. It’s across the street from Tiki Dan’s and two blocks down from Tiki Brandon’s, in the heart of the White Guy Tiki Bar District. The drinks here are liquid candy, their logo was illustrated by a guy named Swingin’ Rick, and they play “So Danco Samba” every eleven minutes. A real tough joint.

Inside you find a dimly lit bar plastered in Polynesian decor, like a small hula girl statue, a topless hula girl painting, and divorce papers from Tiki Steve’s ex-wife. The bar is a mess. Police tape partially covers a tiki mask on the back wall. There is a pool of blood, a pool of pricey mixed drink, and a bubble gum wrapper on the floor near a dead body. Oh hey, a dead body! The victim was a chubby guy lying dead in a sparkling plastic booth. His gut is peeking out the bottom of a Quagmire-esque Hawaiian shirt.

You ask Tiki Steve, the cue bald bartender with a bright red goatee, for a Scorpion Bowl and an explanation. As he takes out several bottles of rum and a grenadine syringe, he pours you a glass of the lowdown.

“Benny was the envy of the bar. He won tonight’s rare Hawaiian shirt contest and got a $500 gift card to the mall! Benny was having a grand old time with his three pals. I did my nightly show where I gather everyone around the bar and light up five drinks in a row to the tune of ‘So Danco Samba’. One of the waitresses blinks the Christmas lights. It’s a spectacle! When the show was over, we turned around and saw that Benny was murdered. Poisoned! Just like my wife poisoned our kids against me.”  

Benny’s three pals are all sitting next to each other on stools, waiting to be questioned. There’s Lana, his petite ex-high school girlfriend. She’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt as a dress, drinking a Hurricane. Next to her is Denise. She was Benny’s rich, tall Hawaiian shirt dealer. She wears a Hawaiian shirt around her neck, preppy-style, drinking a Mai Tai. Finally, there’s muscle-bound Spike. He was Benny’s heroin dealer. Spike’s wearing a blood-stained white shirt and gold chains, drinking a beer with a paper umbrella in it.

The cop is mesmerized by a TV in the corner playing A Very Brady Sequel. Looks like it’ll be up to you – someone with no experience or qualifications solving murders – to solve this murder.

Who would you like to j’accuse?

You Are a Floating Pizza

Your new quest is hot-n-ready!

Slice to see ya, adventurers! I’ve got a strange, albeit delicious quest for you today. It’s for a good cause, which I think makes it a little sweeter than most.

A big welcome to all the new players coming from Unslush, a great newsletter with resources for writers. Also, you can hear me make fun of Universal Studios on the latest episode of Nightdrive, a very funny, very fake Florida call-in show.

New games are delivered fresh to your inbox twice a month, so be sure to subscribe.


In the kitchen of a restaurant called Pizzaberg, a chef uses a pizza peel to pull you out of the oven. Rather than allow yourself to be placed into a cardboard box for delivery and consumption, you decide to levitate over to the pass through window.

You are a floating pizza. Pepperoni, onions, and extra cheese. Piping hot.

You float over to the Pizzaberg dining room. Chairs are stacked on the tables. There is only one person inside the normally crowded restaurant: a gawky pizza delivery teen. His eyes grow wide as he takes out his phone. 

“Ghost pizza!” the chef screams, as she runs out of the kitchen. “Run, Caleb! That pizza is cursed! It’s here to take revenge on us for eating its gooey brothers! Lord, forgive me for making this personal pan poltergeist...” She collapses to the floor and enters the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

The teen is blocking the front door, filming you with his phone as you float around. For the record, you are not a ghost. You are just a pizza who happens to float. It’s unusual, but it happens.

“This ghost pizza is gonna get me so many followers,” declares the teen.

What would you like to do?

If you would like to escape the restaurant, how many toppings did you have on your last pizza?

BONUS: Donate any amount to the Restaurant Workers’ Community Foundation, which started a fund to help service workers hit hard by Coronavirus shutdowns, and add 2 toppings.


I’m going to try opening up comments for the first time. What did you think of today’s quest? What’s your favorite pizza topping combo? Mine is pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapeños. Savory, sweet, and spicy!

DinoSwords: Masters of Champions

You're a mutant dinosaur who's 100% Dino-Might™!

Are you ready to get prehistoric, DinoManiacs™? Before you take on Lord Cramulock™, make sure you’re subscribed to Adventure Snack… or risk extinction!

Shout-outs to @badfolklorist, @EraserNubs, @BizMichael, @lentilstew, @HenryBarajas, @DunjaLazic, and @McGurrGM for tweeting about recent games. Thanks, DinoBudz™!


You and your four friends were just average, skateboarding, calzone-obsessed American teenagers. But when you stumbled upon four magical blades in an abandoned quarry – enchanted by a caveman magician! – you transformed into the DINOSWORDS™. Now you’re half teenager, half dinosaur barbarian, and 100% Dino-Might™

But these are dark times for the DinoSwords™. Somehow, the evil one-eyed alien Lord Cramulock™ and his acid barfing BarfBorgs™ took you by surprise. They attacked and destroyed your DinoCaveLair™, including your DinoMiniFridge™ and DinoSegaGenesis™. Your best friends in the whole world – T-Wrecks™, Steggo™, Dactyl Dan™, and Utahrapper™ – are badly injured. So are you. As leader of the DinoSwords™, you still manage to stand tall and very leader-like.

“Hand over your DinoSwords™,” shrieks Lord Cramulock™ in an annoyingly high pitched voice, “and I promise to kill you with them. Whoops, I mean, I’ll do the opposite and spare your lives!”

“Don’t listen to him…” begs Steggo™, barely able to hold in her DinoGuts™. “He’s obviously lying.”

“I’m not lying. Your best friend Steggo™ is lying! I never lie. I’m extremely honest,” he lies.

Lord Cramulock™ inches closer and closer. The BarfBorgs™ stick their robot fingers into their metal throats, readying their acid barfs. You tightly grip your DinoSword™ and narrow your eyes at them. 

What would you like to do?

If you’d like to battle Lord Cramulock, count the number of toys on your desk.

BONUS: Share this game with the button below. When you do, add +2 to your toy count, and get a shout-out in an upcoming game!

Genie of the Duck Pond

A duck djinn? No, you're not quacking up.

Welcome back, adventurers! You don’t need to enter a dangerous tiger head cave to subscribe and get Adventure Snack games in your inbox…

Today’s quest was written by guest gamemaster Luke Herr (RPG Pals Club), who wrote our first western Hold Your Horses. Luke is running a Kickstarter for a queer horror rom-com with superheroes mini-comic, so check that out!


It is another beautiful weekend afternoon at the Eugene Eugene the Third Memorial Park and Duck Pond. You’re currently enjoying some time feeding your friends, the ducks, some kale – a healthy alternative to bread. You take pride in feeding the ducks, who have come to love and respect you. 

The largest duck, who you have named Cornelius, drags a mysterious lamp to you from the edge of the pond. After dropping the lamp at your feet, Cornelius quacks, as if to say, “You have been a benevolent guest here at our pond for many lunar cycles. Please take our greatest treasure, a wishing lamp, which we cannot use as we are but simple ducks, incapable of understanding true need or desire.”

Never one to question a generous duck, you pick up the lamp and rub the side of it. Quickly, a plume of colorful and mint-scented smoke shoots out and congeals into a djinn with feathers and a bill. In a booming voice, it quacks:

“You have been granted one wish by the ducks of this pond for feeding them food that will not cause them long term health problems. I shall grant your true heart’s wish, assuming that your soul is the correct weight: less than the weight of this duck feather.”

What would you like to do?

If you want to make a wish, estimate the weight of your soul.

(For reference: a duck feather weighs about 5 milligrams. The average human soul weighs about 6 milligrams.)

BONUS: Hit the "heart” button below and you will be granted a real life wish! Also, you’ll help us find new players, so thank you.

Riddle of the Sfynks

In an ancient pyramid lies a ferocious monster... and a neat prize!

A word of caution, weary traveler. If you do not yet subscribe to Adventure Snack, you may miss out on quests and be cursed with dreaded FOMO!

Today’s tale brings us to an enchanted monolith lost to the sands of time. Before you set out on this perilous journey, be sure to pack your copy of The Big Book of Riddle Answers by Malcolm Gladwell.


You are a thrill-seeking archeologist traversing the desert sand. It’s a brutally hot day, but you’re not thirsty for water. Oh no, you’re thirsty for… ancient treasure. Okay, you are also thirsty for water. Your canteen only contains droplets of luke warm backwash. The thought of a La Croix makes your tongue scream.

Finally, you arrive at your mysterious destination. Who knows what you’ll find inside the Pyramid of One Monster? The triangular stone structure has a small, dark entryway. You turn on your flashlight and walk a few feet inside.

Inside the pitch black room, you shine your flashlight over various objects: a mural depicting outsiders being gored by a monster, a pile of skulls with monster claw marks on them, the glowing red eyes of a monster staring deep into your soul, some vines, a pair of flamingo sunglasses–

A heavy slab falls, closing up the exit behind you! In the middle of the room, a big torch lights up and reveals a beast with the head of a cougar, the belly of a hippopotamus, the claws of a sloth, covered by the cleats of NFL legend Jerry Rice, and a lizard’s tail with a spiked mace at the end. If this creature killed you, at least you would die in a memorable way.

“I am the One Monster in the Pyramid of One Monster,” says the one monster in a soothing baritone. “You may call me the Sfynks. S-F-Y-N-K-S. Not S-P-H-I-N-X, even though it’s pronounced exactly the same way. I saw into your soul with my Eyes of Penetration. You seek my treasure?”

You nod emphatically and wince a little, as if to say, “Yeah, dude. C’mon.” Once you do, three stone pillars rise up from the ground in front of you, each with a different symbol on it.

“Answer my riddle by pressing one of the three pillars, each emblazoned with a symbol. Listen carefully and choose wisely. Once you press the pillar, your fate is sealed. Here is my riddle…”

I am not part food
I cannot be eaten
I am not part coin
Small change is for cretins
I am part what surrounds us
Your fortunes I will sweeten

Which pillar will you choose? (Click the symbol.)

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A bonus for you, if those rhymes made you squint...
Hit “Share” below. Your reward is this hint!
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