Adventure Snack

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Your Godbox needs more space!

adventuresnack.substack.com

Your Godbox needs more space!

Please delete old items from your universe.

Geoffrey Golden
May 14, 2020
16
Share this post

Your Godbox needs more space!

adventuresnack.substack.com

Longtime subscribers to Adventure Snack have solved ancient riddles, battled supervillain puppeteers, and saved the future with their sandwich orders…

But are you ready for the grandest challenge of them all, adventurers? A quest where the entire universe hangs in the balance? Time to try your hand at… intergalactic spring cleaning!

This is a friendly reminder that your Godbox is almost full. The universe contained in your Godbox has too many plants, clouds, needlepoint pillows, intelligent lifeforms, pomegranate seeds, pools of icy cool water on a summer’s day, ergonomic keyboards, mountains, suns, words ending in “-cation,” and bouncy castles. Something must go. Adding one more forest, humpback whale, or Sonic Drive-In will cause your Godbox account to fill up, and you will be unable to access your universe.

You need to free up 100 omnipobytes of space.

Make space in your Godbox by deleting one of these old items from existence:

  • Delete Balthasar, a filthy 5,600 year old tree.

  • Delete Pluto, the planet that never was.

  • Delete “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down and all memory of its existence.

  • Delete inactive volcanoes.

  • Delete the concept of third cousins.

  • Delete Stonehenge.

  • Delete Lay’s Classic potato chips.

Upgrade your Godbox account by clicking the small heart button near the top of the email. When you do, you automatically free up 30 omnipobytes of space. (And thanks for helping us find new adventurers!)

MENTIONS

My ears are burning! While I put out my ear fires, let’s see what all y’all adventures are saying on Twitter. Remember to use the #AdventureSnack hashtag and join the (Pepsi) conversation.

Let’s start with a review of Adventure Snack from @everyartisugly's very cool newsletter on games, art and coding!

Her mention of corporate emails inspired today’s game. Thanks, Martha!

Twitter avatar for @SamuelSattin
Samuel Sattin @SamuelSattin
Subscribe to the #AdventureSnack game! And not just because @geoffreygolden is a righteous gentleman.
Twitter avatar for @geoffreygolden
Geoffrey Golden @geoffreygolden
Good news: #AdventureSnack is giving you a jetpack! Leave the stupid ground for good. https://t.co/vKNhZPFCOS https://t.co/9Nr9ye4FZD
11:40 PM ∙ May 6, 2020

When it comes to subscribing, my righteousness and gentlemanliness are only part of the equation.

Twitter avatar for @TankertonLatch
Tankerton Latch @TankertonLatch
Feel bad for you if you bought a jetpack via #AdventureSnack and didn't even attain true inner peace! Better luck next time I guess!
Image
8:16 PM ∙ Apr 30, 2020

Congrats on finding the hidden image in last week’s jetpack game, Tankerton! Less than 2% of adventurers found it. I wonder if there’s a hidden image in today’s game…

Speaking of Adventure Snack secrets:

Twitter avatar for @bizmichael
AS THEY PROCEED @bizmichael
@geoffreygolden @kennykeil *rearranges letters in Snood, somehow spells adventure snack* OH SHIT
8:48 PM ∙ Apr 30, 2020

We’re Snood the looking glass here, people.

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