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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

I think the cool answer is Excalibur, because it's not owned by a giant multinational super conglomerate. But the kid in me wants to hear the "whoosh" noises of a lightsaber moving back and forth. So I'll take Yoda's refreshing, lime green lightsaber.

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Mando's avatar

Dude that Hippogriff ate my hand so quickly lol. At least its horse genitals weren't involved!!

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

The creature pulled off a... hippo-grift. 😎

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Chevanne Scordinsky's avatar

Smh…

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Henry Barajas's avatar

Your funniest one yet.

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Thanks, Henry! Which one: Sword or Wordle?

(The comments button on Wordle accidentally sends folks here.)

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Jackie Dana's avatar

I escaped merely lacking a hand. Huzzah!

As for swords, real swords are heavy and hard as hell to use. I'd take a lightsaber any time, as long as they don't take too long to charge.

As for the holidays, I got a wheelbarrow. It might not sound exciting but it will allow me to carry hundreds of pounds all the way from my garage to my yard.

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

You escaped with half of your hands! Hooray! (I’m a glass-half-full kinda guy.)

Apparently lightsabers do need to charge, but only every 50-100 years, depending on quality. So I think you made the right choice.

https://may4bewithyou.com/do-lightsabers-run-out-of-energy/#:~:text=Due%20to%20the%20nature%20of,anywhere%20from%2050%2D100%20years.

A wheelbarrow is a useful gift! I’m imagining it wrapped without a box, so it’s really obvious it was a wheelbarrow, but you still acted surprised for the sake of the gift giver.

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Jackie Dana's avatar

The wheel barrel came unassembled, and the handles were wrapped. (The rest was stashed nearby.)

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Wheelbarrows: Some Assembly Required!

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Esteban Vasquez Bragado's avatar

Bird stole my sword...

The Excalibur, if only because I rather don't deal with the responsibility that a lightsaber means (and really, there's no way I would fuck up the UK if I became king)

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

You'd be a great King of England. Let's make that happen!

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Chevanne Scordinsky's avatar

Had to return to get my money back! How embarrassing!

What the hell was I thinking with 9 feet? I do not have the height or upper body strength for that. Maybe there’s a sale on nunchucks…

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Pretty much any of your standard Ninja Turtle weapons are going to be a better fit.

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Jay Rooney's avatar

Definitely lightsabers for me. But isn’t Excalibur like… magic, or something? That would make it indestructible… but so is a lightsaber blade. It’s the classic unstoppable Force (pun intended) vs immovable object

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Haha, I love that classic juxtaposition. Yes, I believe Excalibur is magical. The sword is supposed to be unbreakable and the holder won't die from blood loss while wielding it. But it's super picky about who gets to pull it from a stone, whereas you can make a lightsaber in a theme park for $219.99 plus tax.

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Jackie Dana's avatar

I'm pretty sure the whole point of a lightsaber is magic too. 😃

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Truly's avatar

I definitely wonder what the hippogriff is going to do with such a big sword and is this a common occurrence? And if so- how long until warranties and insurance carve out 'snatched: hippogriff' from their policies.

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

The other endings reveal the hippogriff's feelings about the sword. That said, as soon as you return the sword, the insurance gets a carve out. Like, within the hour.

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Truly's avatar

Roof damage from hippogriff droppings also seems like something they would try not to cover.

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Medical coverage for hippogriff bitings. Pretty much all hippogriff related accidents are off-the-table.

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Chevanne Scordinsky's avatar

Oh, I’d look through the ICD10 code catalog. There’s a diagnosis code for dolphin bites. I’m pretty sure it’s there.

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Truly's avatar

this is the very thing to discover today

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

If you clicked the comment button on the Wordleverse game and it led you here, sorry! That's a bug.

Here's the link to Wordleverse's Table Talk: https://adventuresnack.substack.com/p/unleash-the-wordleverse/comments

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