Negotiate for the Elf Union

Santa Claus is coming to terms!

WHAT’S ON MY WISH LIST, ADVENTURER?

🎶 I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
Fill out this year’s Player Survey
Help Adventure Snack succeed
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is youuuuuu… filling out the survey!

It’s a few simple questions, plus one of those “anything you want to say” fields you can go nuts in. The results will help me chart a course for next year’s quests. To those of you who already did it, a hearty holiday thank you.

💰 One lucky respondent will win a $50 eBay Gift Card! Everyone gets a free digital gift. Click the jolly red button to start.

You are the president of CHEER, the Cooperative of Holiday Elven Engineers and Reindeer. For your union, it's the most worryful time of the year. That's because you're in Santa's Boardroom the night before the night before Christmas, hammering out a contract for your fellow workshop workers.

Millions of toys still need to be produced – the hot ones this year are wooden ducks on wheels you pull with a rope and bootleg Chinese PS5s – but the elves have walked out. They’re unable to withstand the stocking-filled sweatshop this year. Not without some long overdue changes.

Santa Claus, holiday icon and capitalist pig, grouses in a red power suit and shades. He nervously taps his fingers on the long conference table, while the pitter patter of protest chants fill the air. Clearly, Santa is feeling the holiday heat. Time to put on the pressure and win protections for your fellow elves!

Click on a demand to secure it for the elves.

Santa's Rage Meter is currently 0. If it reaches 100 or more, he'll call off the negotiations…

• Fresh Baked Gingerbread

• Unlimited Bathroom Breaks

• Hallmark Channel on TV

• Annual Pay Raise Tied to Inflation

• Ugly Christmas Sweater Fridays

• Diversity Hiring Initiative

• Tummy Ache Insurance

• Work from Home Flexibility

• Santa's Workshop Swag

• Whistleblower Protection

• Reindeer Game Room

• Sexual Harassment Training

BONUS: Take -10 off Santa’s Rage Meter by learning about how to support IRL human unions at the AFL-CIO.

BEFORE WE GO ON BREAK…

This is going to be the last quest for 2021. I hope you’ve enjoyed a year of bear wrestling, monster drinking, pond exploring, evil chair sitting, and goon obliterating. Before we peace out, I wanna hear from you!

Today’s topics of discussion:

🎅 Which elf worker rights did you fight Santa for and why?

🏆 What was your favorite Adventure Snack game of 2021?

☃️ Got any rad holiday plans?

Let me know in the comments or email me a reply.

A SMALL HOLIDAY TREAT?!

Every year, my partner and I take a relaxing trip to a sleepy town during the holidays. We try our best do basically nothing for several days. One of the highlights of the trip is visiting a used bookstore. I love finding obscure humor books for a dollar, like a collection of Funky Winkerbean comic strips or Dave Barry’s Guide to Corn Flakes.

In the spirit of discovering off-beat books, and on the recommendation of my fellow Substack fiction authors, I joined a free indie author book bundle for Christmas. There’s a wild selection of stuff in here, including my Man-otaur labyrinth game adapted to a Kindle-friendly eBook format. Enjoy! Maybe you’ll find a new favorite author or learn a few facts about snapping turtles.

FIRST TIME HERE?

Adventure Snack is a game series I email to subscribers. Play Adventure Snack for free and turn your inbox into an adventure!

I’m a narrative designer for video games. I’ve written for Capcom, Ubisoft, Square Enix, and indie studios around the world. Follow me @geoffreygolden on Twitter.